


The Longest Distance

by squirrellysemantics



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Mass Effect
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gay Male Character, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Sex, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 16:57:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squirrellysemantics/pseuds/squirrellysemantics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard faces a challenge he never expected when a strange, strange man in a big, blue box comes calling.  A Mass Effect/Doctor Who crossover written for the Mass Effect Big Bang 2012. Artwork by doomcheese.</p><p> NC17 in places for violence and sexual situations between the default male Shepard and Kaidan Alenko</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Longest Distance

**Author's Note:**

> Much thanks to doomcheese for the fantastic artwork and beta from joasakura through quite literally hell and high water. Any mistakes you find here on in are my own. Some dialogue lifted from the Extended Cut ending of ME3.
> 
> Time is the longest distance between two places- Tennessee Williams

Tradition served a purpose. In its very nature lay a source of comfort, creating a sense of order, a rhythm of regularity one could always go back to during the worst of times.

Shepard knew that far beyond any normal measure that these times were the very worst.

There was one thing he always did, one small ritual in his years of command. It was silly when you thought about it, really-a throwback to a bygone era when continents were separated by seas that humanity thought of as incalculably vast and the world still had some mysteries that it kept to itself. The inner workings of the Normandy had a complexity beyond the scope of knowledge of any one man, but she was his, and when he needed something tactile, something familiar, Shepard walked the length of her, making sure every part of her was fit for sea.

Reclaiming the Prothean VI was far too important for her to be otherwise.  The missing piece of the puzzle, the last vestige of hope for defeating the Reapers lay in the hands of a madman that would sacrifice humanity in order to save it.

There was a familiar whirr from the drive core as the Normandy completed her jump through the relay and she hit the Horsehead Nebula running with the Alliance fleet waiting in the wings.

On to Cronos Station to hunt for the Illusive Man.

_Hic sunt dracones._

The sub-deck wasn’t a place he visited without purpose, though time free enough for that purpose came few and far between, especially once Jack turned respectable. Little light and lack of activity made it a spot of seclusion, a means for quiet contemplation when there was little chance that anything would be quiet ever again.

Taking pause was a rare thing and Shepard did it now, focusing on the engine’s hum, listening for that perfect harmonic that said all was well, because it damn well had it to be.  Ready or not, the galaxy would be past the point of no return, with or without the Crucible and it would be up to the Normandy and all aboard her to guide the hand of fate.

Shepard was not so lost in his thoughts that he missed another’s sharply drawn breath and he found someone waiting for him in the darkness.

Shadows threw the figure into stark relief, the play of light leaving details obscured but Shepard could recognize Kaidan half-blind in a snowstorm and he most certainly knew Kaidan here.

What they had- this… thing between them was so new, so many years in the making. So damn obvious that it hurt that they’d only just found it, so close to what might be the end.

“Hey,” Shepard called out, unable to hold back a small smile and not really wanting to. Echoes of Peruvian whiskey called back to him from the night before and his smile grew. “Didn’t expect to bump into you down here.”

The lack of answer threw up a red flag for Shepard that turned to entire klaxons shrieking a warning when Kaidan stumbled towards him, barely catching himself against the solidity of the bulkhead.

“Sh..shepard.”

Air turned heavy with the stink of copper and Shepard set into motion at the sight of blood pooling on deck.

Kaidan pitched forward into waiting arms..

“Keep your… head down, okay?” The warning came out thin and weak and  it kept Kaidan coughing, the last of his color spilling red from the corner of his mouth. “You’re always bad at that.”

That broke through Shepard’s paralysis but what should have been an order came out a plea. “Hold on!”

Pressing a hand to the piece missing from Kaidan’s thigh did nothing to staunch the life pouring out of him. Shepard looked to the stairs, mapping out the shortest route to med bay.

“EDI, priority alpha one! Clear me a path to-“

Whatever Shepard intended to say died on his lips as the solid weight trembling against him faded away. He stood up to find himself very much alone.  Where Kaidan himself was gone, his blood was not, a layer caked to Shepard’s palms, his clothes, the deck already congealing into a horrific mess.

Yet, between one blink and the next, Shepard found his hands clean. Not a mark on them. No trace of the blood that he felt pumping past his useless fingers.

Another nightmare, perhaps.  He wanted to wake, to find himself in his bed with heart racing as he’d done too many nights already but there was nothing but cold, dark metal and his harsh breaths filling his ears. 

>>“Is something wrong, Shepard?” << EDI piped in at his forgotten request.

He had only one question. “Where’s Kaidan?”

>>“The major is currently located in the med bay.”<<

He took stairs two at a time, running as fast as his legs could carry him, though he wasn’t at all prepared for what he found.

Chakwas was a picture of calm at her desk, deep in conversation. “The study’s findings are provisional but I thought you might find them useful. An increase of five percent for any biotic ability is not insignificant.”

Whole and unharmed was Kaidan, his back to Shepard on his approach. “Sounds like it might trigger a few migraines at first, but with that kind of gain, it’ll be worth it. Thanks, Karin. I’ll give it a-oh, hey…“

Shepard’s approach made Kaidan clearly both puzzled and pleased and he turned, giving Shepard his first real chance to see him.

Not a drop of blood, not even ahair out of place on the man who’d had the life pouring out of him minutes before. 

Chakwas kept her confusion hidden away but her curiosity clearly sat pinned on her sleeve. “Can I help you, Commander?”

“Sorry to interrupt, Doctor,” Shepard recovered to all outward appearances.  “I need to speak to the major.”

Kaidan read him anyway and his need to piece together the source of Shepard’s agitation showed behind his eyes. “Something come up?“

“Yes,” Shepard answered with conviction but his head still spun as he reached for some explanation of his madness.  “Important SPECTRE business.”

The shared look between the officers showed just how much they believed him.

 “Sure, Commander.”  Kaidan slowly backed out with his goodbyes. “Karin, I’ll pass that information along to my students, if you don’t mind. Every little bit helps-“

He didn’t get to finish before he got dragged along.

Shepard needed to know, needed to see for himself and his patience long wore thin.

Kaidan followed, just as impatient with his concern. “Something’s got you riled up, Shepard. What’s going on?”

Supply closet turned into the closest refuge and Shepard shoved them both inside, quick to tear at clothes barring his view.

Kaidan accepted the hands working him over a welcome flare of laughter warming the air.  “ _Very_ important SPECTRE business, I see…”

Loss of words had Shepard using a kiss instead to give voice to his relief, exploring the familiar texture of mouth and glad to find it returned in abundance.

“I think I like where this is going.” Kaidan spoke in smoke and old leather, happy to fan the flames.

Small strokes to his back threated to push Shepard off course but he couldn’t afford to be deterred. A push and he pinned Kaidan to the shelves behind them, fighting to free the thigh he saw run red.

“Okay-“ Kaidan squirmed, eyes burning bright at the hands holding him down. “I _really_ like where this is going-“

The light fell just right and Kaidan froze, seeing Shepard riddled with more than one kind of desperation. “C’mon, Shepard. Talk to me.”

Shepard met him eye to eye. “I was on the sub-deck just now. So were you and you were hurt- badly.”

A shiver went through him, trying to shake off his horror. “Then… you were gone.”

Kaidan cradled him close. “A dream?”

“No.  I don’t know. I just.. it was-”

The kiss Kaidan gave him soothed them both “You'll figure it out. You always do.”

He broke into a smile against Shepard’s lips. “But first, how ‘bout we have a little more of that important SPECTRE meeting?”

So very necessary, this affirmation of life.  Shepard quickly seized upon it, going deeper with each kiss. He gathered these moments to him, etching the visuals into memory. Flush of skin. Lips slightly parting.

Kaidan came at it from a different angle. More sensory, more visceral, entering a full-on fugue to suckle Shepard’s tongue.  Touch became an important part of the journey, and once Kaidan set his hands in motion, they didn’t stop. Soothing, stroking, kneading in every plane and it quickly meant overheated skin and too many layers.

They peeled each other down, shedding clothes with a brisk efficiency until they were flesh to flesh.  Shepard staked his claim, guiding his mouth to each imaginary wound, laving at these points in turn to prove to himself that the man before him remained whole. He knew he’d find nothing but he did it again and again, finding only scars he knew from the past - a jagged starburst from the Geth on Noveria, a new one from shrapnel on Thessia only freshly healed.

He worked the tight crease of Kaidan’s hip with his teeth, listening for the little hitches in breath. It heated him to the core when he teased out a sigh, each one burning like a shot of whisky. The easiest way to satisfy his craving was to paint the line of bone with his tongue. Shepard could never, ever claim to be an artist but he created a pattern here, light brush strokes that followed Kaidan’s contours. Slow exhalations against wetted skin made Kaidan flex under his fingers and Shepard was quick to do it again, earning a mesquite and honey moan.

The chirp of a comm went unnoticed at first but it came again and  Shepard rose, the rush of urgency in Joker’s voice tossing water on the fire.

>>“Bridge to Commander Shepard- we need you up here, sir!“<<

Kaidan hummed his disappointment into Shepard’s neck. “Have I ever mentioned his timing _really_ sucks?”

Shepard could only concur. “This better be good, Joker.”

>>“Depends on what your definition of ‘good’ is but I think you should probably work the words ‘haul’ and ‘ass’ somewhere in there right about now.”<<

A mad dash for their clothes and two soldiers responded to the call to arms, sprinting to the bridge for another surprise.

The thing was big and blue, scorch marks marring the side. A box where there should have been none, impossibly made of wood out in space where no wood should belong, big enough to hold a man or two but little else.  Fans on the bridge worked over time, clearing the smoke that still blew out the small lantern on top.

“Glad you could join us, Shepard,”  Garrus said, Harrier trained on this newest arrival.  “Did you order something special and forget to tell us?”

Kaidan squinted at markings on its the side. “That writing is in English!”

“Police Call Box,” Garrus read out in confirmation. “I sure hope you humans invented a teleporter and kept it quiet all this time because otherwise we're mandible deep in something big.”

Shepard sized up the big, blue box situated so comfortably on his bridge, the look of it at once both familiar and foreign. He raised a cautious hand to it, its surface thrumming with life. "EDI, give me everything you've got.”  
  
She fell smoothly into her report.

"The Normandy's shields appear to be functioning at full capacity yet the unidentified object materialized on the bridge without resistance eight point two minutes ago. It has an energy signature that suggests the object is pan dimensional in nature to a probability of ninety four point three percent, though its exoskeleton is resistant to further scans for more information. In addition, Major Alenko is currently wearing the same pair of trousers seen worn by the Commander twenty five point four minutes ago.”

A hush fell over the bridge, carrying with it a compulsion that every single being on deck become instantly fascinated by their major’s attire, leaving a murmur from Kaidan to filter through loud and clear.

“Huh. I _thought_ these were a little tight.”

Could turians blush? Garrus did his best to shield the answer with a scratch to the scar marring his cheek. “Well, I could have happily lived the rest of my life without knowing that bit of trivia.”

“Thanks, EDI,” Joker mumbled in misery. “Remind me to bleach my brain later.”

“I do not think that would be medically advisable, Jeff.”

Kaidan gave Shepard a crooked smile that was a thing of beauty. “You _did_ tell her to give you _everything_ …”

A door swept open on the magic box, snapping them all to alertness.  Black clouds billowed out, a coughing figure tumbling right along with it.

 “Let’s never do _that_ again!”

Smoke cleared to reveal something human, loose limbed and lanky, but human all the same. What century he stepped out of was another matter.  He was all floppy hair and leather boots. A well-worn tweed jacket declared war on the pattern of his prim and proper button-down shirt, helped not at all by a set of burgundy braces or the archaic bow tie. The man extracted a handkerchief that had seen better days from his breast pocket, making a futile attempt at clearing the ash that surrounded him.

“What, were you lot raised in a barn?” he admonished like a crabby, old uncle. “Leaving your time windows open like that! End up poking holes between universes and it gets all drafty!”

The man stuck a finger in one ear and then the other before wiggling them about.

“Quite a noisy ship you’ve got here, if you don’t mind me saying,” the man shouted quite loudly and just as quite unnecessarily.  “I could help you get it sorted if you like. Spot of engine trouble, perhaps? Or maybe your main batteries are in need of some calibr-”

Garrus raised his gun. “Choose your next words wisely or I might take what you say personally.”

The weapon in his face slowed the man down not at all.

“No calibrations, then!” he countered brightly, offering the turian his hand. “My apologies! Don’t know where my head’s at.  Always a pleasure to meet a new species!”

His proffered hand went ignored but this did not deter the stranger in the slightest, turning his frenetic spotlight on Shepard, who did not approve.

 “And humans! Good to see you in this universe as well! Fancy a scone?  I haven’t gotten around to getting them yet, but I’ll be sure to-” The man paused, looking slightly worried. “You _are_ human, aren’t you?”

Shepard felt every bit of tension without a solid weapon, but he subtly set his stance, ready for a flat out brawl if this odd little clown wanted one.

The suicidal nutcase considered personal space strictly optional, leaning in to sniff the air around Shepard for clues.  The man was three seconds from a fist to the face before he suddenly withdrew, clapping his hands in delight.

“Yes, of course you’re human!  Recognize you lot anywhere!” 

He gave Shepard a conspiratorial wink, sticking out a thumb at Garrus. “Lovely to see you getting along with the neighbors, for once! Your kind _can_ be a tad churlish at times-“

Shepard threw a finger at the man’s chest, happy to demonstrate how churlish he could be. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re not exactly breaking out the tea and biscuits so if you want to get off this ship in one piece, I suggest you dial the crazy down a notch. Now tell me how you-“

He jabbed a thumb of his own at the blue box. “And this thing got on my ship!”

“Oh dear.” The man crumpled into a kicked puppy, long fingers set to a nervous twiddling.  “So _you_ didn’t open the time window?  Well, we might mean we’re in a bit of a pickle-“

A warning klaxon went off and Joker was right on it. “We’ve got company!” he sang out in warning. “Incoming Reapers on our six!”

Garrus leaned into Joker’s chair.  “I count at least twenty. What the hell are they doing out here?”

“Blowing our chance at the Prothean VI!” Shepard snarled. “Abort the mission!  And get us out of here, Joker!”

The bridge came to life under Joker’s touch, the ship at his beck and call. “Think I managed to figure that one out all by myself, sir, but it’s gonna be kinda tricky with an ass load of Reapers between us and the relay!”

Inertial dampeners groaned as the Joker made the Normandy dance to his tune. “But don’t soil your undies just yet, folks, we’re trying for an approach!”

Their unwelcome guest turned into a whirlwind of agitation with the drive core kicking up around him.

“What is that _awful_ -“ he shouted at nothing. “No! This is not possible!”

“Hitting the relay in ten seconds-“ Joker called out over the din.

A grinding sound kicked up from the big, blue box, beginning strong but faltering into weakness.  The lunatic turned on it, clutching at the thing’s doors with the comfort a parent would offer a sick child.

“No-no-no- _no_!” he chanted, struggling at the lock with a simple key. “What’s wrong, girl?  Dark energy fields have never bothered you before!  Fight it!  _Fight it!_ _”_

 “Nine… eight-“

The walls of the blue box turned pale under the man’s desperate grasp, and what had been a solid construction of glass and wood simply faded away into nothing.

Turning on Shepard, the man was full of fear but none of it for the gun Garrus kept trained at his head. “That time window wasn’t just a time window, was it?  They’re after my TARDIS! They’re _stealing my ship!_ ”

Joker ignored the furor and kept counting. “Seven…six-“

Just as unarmed as Shepard, Kaidan still interceded physically, raising a cautionary hand to create distance between Shepard and the man in distress. “Sir, I need you to step back.”

“Can’t you see?” the stranger wailed, pressing onwards. “No, no, of course you don’t. Your kind can barely handle the dimensions you’re already in, much less any of the others!”

The small step he took towards Shepard was more than enough for Kaidan and blue energy skated across his skin as he threw up a barrier.

“Five.. four-“

The crazed man doubled over with palms clasped to his ears and Kaidan strengthened his barrier, but that only made the man worse.

 “Is… is that _you_ doing that?” the stranger demanded, curiosity still lighting up through his writhing pain. “That’s… that’s simply _marvelous_!”

The whole of the Normandy shook as they banked hard, unsettling the already precarious man until he nearly tipped over in response and Kaidan moved to steady him on instinct.

Over the uproar, the countdown kept on. “Three.. two.. here we-”

A simple touch did it- one man trying to prevent a fall. An innocent gesture meant to keep a man from harm and everything went to hell.

Light consumed the two men, a biotic blue brighter than anything Shepard had ever seen in the years of Kaidan at his side.

Within one heartbeat and the next, both went rigid, the energy splaying them out like ragdolls, the point of contact acting as a conduit between them. Their mouths hung open in silent agony, blind to everything but what only they could see.  The light grew brighter, trails of gossamer growing, becoming more substantial until its force pushed them into the air, leaving their feet dangling beneath them.

“Kaidan!”

Shepard dug in his heels to get closer, but the energy pushed back.  Lightning crackled against his skin but he bore down, inching closer and closer until-

 _He_ _’_ _s the ripe old age of seven, already taller than most boys his age, staying up late to count the stars, though he remembers it many different ways. Familiar and unfamiliar as if he_ _’_ _s lived them all- Earth and Mindoir and Acturus Station merging into memory as if these different childhoods were all one and the same._

 _The dysphoria vanishes or is more simply overwhelmed, perhaps, because he_ _’_ _s an adult again and in more pain than he_ _’_ _s ever known. He stands alone amongst the piles of dead and dying in the shadow of Big Ben. There were stars here too but most disappear behind smoke and ash, the rest blotted out from the sky by the sheer bulk of the Citadel hanging in Earth_ _’_ _s orbit. Kaidan is gone, safely away at least, and Shepard marshals on because he knows he must._

 _The scene changes yet again and he_ _’_ _s on all fours- or threes, really, with one arm completely useless.  A whisper comes to him, one that could have been that of a child but with a voice far colder than any child should ever be._

 _“_ _Wake up._ _”_

 _He_ _’_ _s given a choice to make and what he hears makes little sense. Eyes barely able to focus, but at least he can see blotches of green, blue, and red. Pure stubborn will to end this war is all that drives him onwards, staggering to his final moments where he feels every second of his flesh flayed from his bones.  The whole of him consumed molecule by molecule and all he can think of is regret at what he_ _’_ _ll miss the most-_

A blow hit Shepard to wake him from… whatever it was, its aftereffects returning in a massive wave to throw him against the bulkhead.

Everything remained blotted out but the two silhouettes still hovering in mid-air, still beholden to the light until it surged to toss them apart like a careless child bored with its toys.

The world resumed where it left off, Joker’s words picking up as if nothing at all occurred.  “-go!”

He had no attention to spare to the state of those around him. “Field failure detected! Are you fucking _kidding_ me?”

“Evasive maneuvers, then!” Shepard barked out in his scramble to Kaidan’s side.

Pale and shivering, Kaidan ran hotter than a blast furnace, sweat soaking every bit of him.  He startled at Shepard’s touch, though his eyes were wide open.

“R..right choice,” Kaidan stuttered through cracked lips, his grip on consciousness fading fast under the aftershocks ripping through him. “Know it, Ash.”

Memory kicked Shepard all the way back to Virmire.

He knew a soldier’s goodbye.  Soul wrenching acceptance from the one chosen to die, a subtle plea to make that sacrifice worthwhile.

Except that goodbye belonged to Ashley.

He gathered Kaidan up as gently as he could, becoming a careful cradle to the limp head falling across his shoulder, but the engine’s thrum stalling beneath his feet stopped him in his tracks.

“What the hell are you doing, Joker? We need to-“

His words died away with his first good look around.

Shepard knew his crew, knew they’d walked through hell together, yet there they were, those he knew to fight and never falter now subsumed by slack-jawed silence.

Reapers- a fleet of them- littered the sky off their starboard bow. 

A ring of hell between them and escape.

Yet they did nothing.

Nothing but watch and wait, letting the Normandy drift past like vultures waiting for their meal to breath its last.

Garrus was the first to find his voice. “What are those bastards up to?”

Duty clawed Shepard in one direction and his heart the other, feeling every bit of the weight in his arms.  “Can you try for the relay again?”

Color slowly returned to Joker’s face as did his bravado.  “If anybody can, it’ll be m-”

His ego dried up the moment he processed the burden his commander carried.

“Kaidan! What the hell happened?”

Shepard threw him a hawk-eyed assessment. “You didn’t see-”

“I don’t get it.” Garrus joined in, just as bewildered as he kneeled over to search the dazed pile of limbs that made up their other casualty.  “One second I had a bead on him and the next, it looks like a Brute with a grudge came through here.”

Questions set Shepard’s heart to hammering. “We’ll sort it later. Just get us anyplace but here before the Reapers decide to change their minds.”

“Second approach on the relay!” Joker called out, the controls responding to their conductor, though he couldn’t eliminate the shake as he drove them into the lion’s den. “And we’re through!”

Feet already in motion, Shepard hugged Kaidan to him with echoes of Mars in his head.

“EDI, grab the weird guy,” he ordered as he hit the lift. “We’re going to need some answers.”

“Certainly Shepard.” EDI took the man by the lapels with little fanfare.

“Chameleon, old chap!” The dazed man had a delighted laugh for her.

No ceremony as she slung him over his shoulder, the man quite content in being handled like sack of flour.

“Love the new look!” he let out in a drunken slur, his face bouncing an awkward temp against her backside.  “Could do without this view, mind.”

The trip to the med bay took far too long and Shepard counted the seconds.

A sigh from Kaidan warmed his neck with barely formed words. “Never b…been to L…London.”

London. Just as he’d seen Big Ben.

What exactly had they shared?

Chakwas was ready for them, scanners already humming. Nursing droid buzzed to get a line going in a hurry, pumping Kaidan with everything under the sun. 

“These readings!” she puzzled over her omni-tool in horror. “It looks like he’s been burning through his powers for _days_! Perhaps the other biotics on board have some experience with this but I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

Her physician’s face was stern but it only masked her worry. “What the devil happened up there, Shepard?”

“You’re not the only one asking, Doctor.” 

Shepard watched the harsh breaths turn even, permitting himself a moment of succor in the feel of Kaidan’s hand, relieved to find the skin no longer on fire.  “Promise me we’ll stop meeting like this, Major.”

“His signs are stabilizing.” Chakwas delivered a soft sympathy that was more than welcome.  “Let’s give him time.”

Which was something they had little of.

EDI broke into his thoughts. “Shepard, I’ve intercepted transmissions that indicate that Cerberus is currently abandoning Cronos Station.”

One man down, a mad stranger and a mystery in their midst with no chance at the Prothean VI.

Her news didn’t stop there. “There is also a matter I believe best discussed in private.”

Shepard stared at the flood of monitors beeping in an even rhythm. “Now is not a good time, EDI.”

“I believe you may change your mind once you hear what I have to say.”

Great.

“I’ve got to update Admiral Hackett. Meet me in the vid com room. We’ll talk when I’m done.”

“Of course, Shepard.”

Their new guest lay stretched out on a table of his own and Shepard spared him a glance. “Any other reports of casualties?”

“None besides these two,” Chakwas answered and he could feel her burning a hole into his back. “Unless you know something I don’t, Commander.” 

There was no answer for her. “What can you tell me about him?”

“Besides the extra heart, two extra ribs and a respiratory bypass system that would make a xenoanatomist rich beyond imagining, you mean?

Shepard searched the stranger’s face. “He’s not human.”

“Not in the slightest.”

He sighed out his annoyance. “Why doesn’t that surprise me? So what the hell is he?” 

The not-very-human man remained prone, the nursing droid having fits as needle after needle bent on itself as it tried to pierce his skin.

“Haven’t the slightest clue,” Chakwas had nothing but dismay. “No known species comes even close to his physiology. Can’t even get enough samples for a cross-match.”

Any further questions had to wait as Vega took point entering the med bay with Typhoon at the ready, a few grunts armed to the teeth backing him up.

“Hey, Commander.”  For a big man, he moved quickly, briskly efficient at setting a perimeter around their intruder. “Figured you might need some guns down here.”

He shot a pensive look Kaidan’s way.  “Is the major gonna be okay, Doc?”

Chakwas was all soft sympathy. “Right as rain, Lieutenant. Though I have no idea what to make of my other patient.”

Vega gave their new guest a once-over.  “ _Co_ _ñ_ _o_! _This_ is who crashed our little party? Guess livin’ in the basement means I miss all the fun stuff.”

He shifted from foot to foot, not letting the man out of his sight. “Guy looks more like a math professor than anything Cerberus would cook up but that creepy eyed bastard’s tried crazier crap than this.” 

Joker cut through the silence. >>“Commander, Admiral Hackett would like to speak to you on vid comm.”<<

Beat to the punch.

Chakwas met Shepard eye to eye. “I’ll keep you posted.”

Her reassurance got Shepard settled down to business. “You do that.”

He made for a quick exit but for one last thing.  “And James-”

“Don’t worry, Commander.” Vega set his determination in stone. “This pasty dude ain’t going anywhere.”

\---- 

Hackett’s ghost flickered into existence, tight lipped and grim across every phantom line. >>“Fill me in, Commander.   What the hell happened down there?”<<

This would not go easy.  “We had a few unexpected guests, sir.”

>>“That’s one way to put it.”<< Hackett’s eyes were weathered and worn, but they could still pierce a man’s soul from half a galaxy away. >> “I understand the Reapers arrived but called off their attack.  Shepard, if the Illusive Man has finally managed to control the Reapers, I need you here. If he’s finally succeeded, the Alliance as we know it is done and so too any peace you’ve brokered. Every race in the galaxy will be gunning for humanity and it will not be pretty.”<<

“I don’t think that’s it, sir.”

Shepard sifted through what he knew, trying to piece the story together.  “Why abandon Cronos Station? The Illusive Man’s not exactly the type to cut and run if he’s got the upper hand.”

The old admiral sagged, looking every one of his years.

>>“Then we have nothing. The Crucible is no use to us as is. With the fleet on the move, it’s a giant albatross around our necks.  We’ll take it with us to Earth where we’ll rally our forces.”<<

“There’s something else,” Shepard began slowly. “Another guest besides the Reapers.”

The old man lit up with a keen eye. >>“I’m listening.”<<

“An alien of a species unknown to us.” Shepard chose his words carefully.  “He… arrived a few minutes prior to the attack.”

>>“You think he’s a threat?”<<

Only if someone who handled himself like a newborn giraffe could be classified as a threat.  “I doubt it, but I’ll pass on what we know.”

The information got Hackett standing tall. >>“You do that. Then we’ll see you back home for the final push, Shepard, wherever that takes us.  Hackett out.”<<

The screen went dim and this new burden set Shepard on edge. He eased back, only to find the space under his heel already occupied by something.

Or rather, someone.

“Damn it, EDI!”

She watched him quizzically from far too close.  “Did you not say-”

Her voice shifted and his words came from her mouth. “‘I’ve got to update Admiral Hackett. Meet me in the vid com room. We’ll talk when I’m done-”

“Fine.  Try that eighty percent less literally next time. Now, what’s so important?”

Though she might say otherwise, EDI had her habits. She stood at attention to give up her report.

“We encountered marked aberrations since we entered the Horsehead Nebula, long before the arrival of the pan-dimensional object. There was already a noticeable time dilation as soon as we exited the mass relay-”

Shepard narrowed his focus on her. “So?  Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and all. That’s going to happen with faster than light travel.”

“Correct- but typically those effects are calculated and accounted for.  These particular time jumps-” 

Her pause carried with it a world of unease.

“These time jumps,” she began again. “Were not.”

Dread shot an icy blast up his spine.  “What kind of chunks of time are we talking about here?”

“Thousandths of a second in most cases, imperceptible to organics, though in this instance there were billions of these events happening simultaneously throughout the ship.  It was… overwhelming. There were, however exceptions. I would have brought the matter to you sooner, but I thought it best to thoroughly rule out malfunctions first. System checks were time consuming but found no issues in functionality-”

“You’re killing me, EDI! Spill it!”

It was easy to forget how far from organic she was in moments like this, her whole body poised in hesitation. “I believe you noticed that members of the crew appeared unaware of how Major Alenko acquired his injuries?”

EDI wanted his attention and she had it. “But you know.”

“To a degree.” 

A wave of her hand called up tiny holograms for EDI to display and Shepard got to watch the scene on the bridge all over again- the odd, little man gone mad, Kaidan acting the protector. 

“My visual records captured everything leading up to the incident as well as its aftermath, though shows nothing of its cause.”

The jolt that got the stranger wobbling rocked the whole image with it and Kaidan reached out- then they were gone and Shepard got to watch himself struggle at Kaidan’s side from the outside.

“But there was more to it than that,” Shepard countered with the memories returning to haunt him. “I saw it myself.”

“Other sensor readings concur with your assessment.”

“One of those ‘exceptions’?”

“Correct. Only two of these aberrations had any significant duration.  One involved the event on the bridge that resulted in Major Alenko’s injuries.  The other occurred shortly before that accompanied a different incident…”

Her eyes met his and it set his hackles rising. “Which was?”

“According to my records, for a period of five point four minutes, there were two discrete signatures for Major Kaidan Alenko aboard the Normandy.”

Two Kaidans.  One in med bay.  The other-

Shepard closed his eyes and echoes of blood returned to scent the air with a vengeance. “Theories?”

“While hardly definitive, the correlation of these events with the onset of time dilation cannot be ignored.”

“You’re talking about time travel.” He swallowed hard, a small part of him wondering if he’d rather the dying man in his arms been a hallucination or madness than some possible reality. “How is that even possible?”

“Unknown. Any specifics would be speculative until more data is acquired though I believe it has been said ‘when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth’.”

The quote broke through his reserve and he permitted himself a small smile.  “Any other good news you want to share?”

“Not at the present time.  The time dilations appear to have ceased since we left the Horse Head Nebula but we have no way to predict when or where they might occur again and what those effects might be. You can see why the crew might find such information… distressing.”

The comm interrupted them, but this time, Shepard didn’t mind. 

>>“Commander,”<< Doctor Chakwas said clearly. >> “I thought you might want to know- Major Alenko has regained consciousness.” <<

“I’ll be right there.” 

EDI pursed her lips in a frustration he’d seen before on Joker’s own face. “I’m sorry, Shepard. I should have completed my analysis on these incidents sooner. The implications of such findings are-“

Shepard softened at her self-doubt.  “Don’t second guess yourself, EDI. You did what you could and you’re talking to me now. Nobody’s infallible. Not you. Not me. The only thing we can do is try harder next time. That’s all that matters.”

A slow nod of understanding. “Thank you, Shepard. You’ve given me much to think about.”

It all came back to their newfound alien in med bay and Shepard returned to find it more crowded than before, the data terminal commanding an audience.  Javik made for a towering figure over Liara’s shoulder and they both had little time to acknowledge Shepard’s arrival.

Which was fine, because Shepard had other priorities.  He pulled up a chair alongside Kaidan. “How are you?”

“Starving,” Kaidan said with a puff of laughter. “I feel like I’ve been on the bender to beat all benders except I missed the fun part.”

Liara emerged from her readouts. "This is _astonishing_. What happened on the bridge doesn't fit into any known category of biotics. You say the whole effect lasted for more than a few seconds?”

The answer from Kaidan came out thin and weary.  “Yeah, but it sure felt like an eternity.”

“You created the field,” Javik spat, less than pleased, but that was far from unusual. “Yet you cannot explain what occurred. What was its purpose? What did you see?”

“I saw a lot of things,” Kaidan breathed out, trapped in memory.

Adrenaline kicked in and Shepard was right there with him.

“Too much in places,” Kaidan continued softly, trying to navigate his thoughts.  “Not enough in others.  Most of it didn’t make any sense.”

His eyes fluttered closed, Kaidan knotting up tight.  “I was back on Virmire, but this time I wasn’t the one who got to walk away. Then on Earth, in a city I’ve never been. And… and-“

Kaidan fought off his torpor.  “I was there. It felt _real_.”

“He’s right,” Shepard confessed and he felt every bit of Kaidan’s shock leveled at him.  “I felt the same thing.”

“Perhaps we can duplicate it,” Liara countered. “Try to study its effects.”

"It's definitely not something I've been capable of before," Kaidan said, a shiver running through him. "And I'm not sure I could ever do it again."

The prothean loomed large. "You must try, human. All of our lives may depend on it."

Shepard was quick with an ominous rumble. “Easy, Javik.”

"No.” Javik fired off all his disapproval in return. “You saw with your own feeble eyes. The Reapers stood down and we have seen this new power. It cannot be dismissed as coincidence. Perhaps he has stumbled in ignorance onto that which we need to defeat them once and for all.”

Kaidan sighed out an agreement rich in reluctance. "He's right, Shepard.  The power involved… it was enormous so I have to believe it did something. But it wasn’t just me-”

All eyes turned with his to the figure sprawled out in the next bed over, ringed by a team of big guns.

“It was _him_.”

The grunts parted before Javik as he stormed past them. “We shall see.”

Javik sized the prone stranger up, tasting the air around him. “I find it hard to believe that this creature is not human.”

Chakwas set her omni-tool aside, doing little to mask her disdain for his diagnostic skills. “He’s wholly alien, I assure you.”

“Eh,” Javik muttered none too softly. “Hominids all look alike to me.”

He paused, a bare hand poised over the man’s face.  “I will read what information I can. We will see how alien he truly is-”

“That’s not very polite, now is it?” 

The stranger sat up far too swiftly for the naked eye to catch him, but he already had a pout ready for Javik, not at all alarmed at the many guns pointed his way.  “If you have questions, you _could_ have simply asked.”

“Glad you feel that way-” Shepard gave the signal to stand down, desperate to peel this mystery away. “Because I’ve got plenty of questions-”

“ _Good_!” Ebullience bounced the man to his feet. “Questions are always good!  Sign of an inquisitive mind! My favorite kind if you ask me, which of course, you haven’t.”

The man flitted from place to place within the med bay like a drunken butterfly, drumming his forehead with the palm of his hand. “Where are my manners?”

He fished in his pockets, extracting a rumpled paper bag that had trigger fingers itching.  “You’ll have to excuse me! Missed proper introductions before, what my ship being stolen and yours having a run in with a bunch of crabby cuttlefish-”

He could have been all alone in all the galaxy for all this odd, little man cared for those watching him study a purple bit of something before popping it onto his tongue.

“I’m the Doctor,” the man burbled through a full mouth of sweets. “Lovely ship you’ve got here-”

He swallowed thickly and every bit of enthusiasm went with it, this ‘Doctor’ looking utterly lost. “And I would be ever so grateful if you could assist me in returning to mine.”

Quicksilver change and the lunatic was happy again, waggling the beat up bag of candy at Shepard. “Care for a jelly baby, Commander?”

A prolonged silence followed, a beatific smile met by a glare made of granite.

The stranger broke first, face crumbling in uncertainty.

“It is Commander Shepard, isn’t it?  Thought I gathered that in all the excitement but I find that being sucked between universes puts one right off, don’t you?

Shepard had no chance to respond before the Doctor moved on, for the first time spotting Kaidan watching him with a suspicious eye.

“ _There_ you are! Goodness, you look absolutely _dreadful_!” and suddenly Kaidan was the next victim to fall to the bag of sweets.

 “Have one of these, there’s a good man! I suspect you might find them to your liking.”

Natural reluctance had the Doctor tossing a spare and Chakwas snatched it from the air, quick to submit it for study.

A few seconds and Chakwas conceded “It’s clean.”

The Doctor sprouted the brightest smile. “Go on, then! Safe as houses!”

Kaidan accepted the offering with a wary ‘thanks’ before slowly taking it between his lips but the Doctor prattled on all the while.

“Apologies about what happened back there, by the way.  That you and your ship utilize dark energy fields was… unexpected. Time and matter are not so different, you see. Doing that fancy, glowy business around a Time Lord made time go a bit wonky.”

He jiggled a cross finger Kaidan’s way.

“Do they not teach you about dark energy around time sensitives in school, young man? It sends ripples through the past and present. Like dropping a pebble into a puddle, only this time it was a great, big boulder.  You could have seriously hurt yourself so be more careful! Shielded myself so we shan’t have a repeat. Eat up, there’s a good lad!”

Kaidan chewed his way through the treat and they all started at its effects.  Color came back in a flood, his strength returning to him with vigor.

“That… that was-“  Kaidan sputtered, looking to Shepard as they shared their astonishment.  “What the hell is in those things?”

“Oh, a bit of this and a bit of that.”

The Doctor radiated nonchalance poking through the bag with a finger.  “Human and Gallifreyan physiology are not so different in some respects. Purple for dark energy, orange for when you’ve been hit by a particle beam, green for the occasional time vortex exposure-”

He trailed off, wrapped in befuddlement.

“And the red ones are strawberry. I like strawberries,” the Doctor murmured, before lightning hit and he went back to munching through his contentment as if nothing at all was the matter.

“Now, let’s talk about who might have stolen my ship?”

Vega directed a pleading look at Shepard. “Sure you don’t want me to shoot him, Commander?”

“Maybe later,” Shepard answered with no trace of humor, frustration coming to a head.  “This isn’t a game, Doctor.  We’re at war here, if you hadn’t noticed.  Your little stunt on the bridge cost us our best chance to end this once and for all!”

The Doctor went very still, looking much like a statue. 

Except for the eyes.

Literal windows to the soul, they burned with the heat of a thousand suns gone supernova.

The statue spoke. “I’ve seen my share of war.”

“Really?” Shepard bit off, casting his civility aside. 

“So you know what it’s like to struggle for the chance to exist? To fight an enemy so great that you must stand on the backs of those who’ve laid down their lives before you, knowing you might have to lay down your own in the hopes that maybe –just maybe- it helps the poor bastard that comes next get a little farther than you?”

His fury fired into an inferno but a hand nudged his and Kaidan’s touch brought him back to his senses.

“Those ‘crabby cuttlefish’ call themselves the Reapers,” Shepard began anew, and the Doctor hung on every word of his story.

“They wait for us, their only purpose to harvest, to slaughter us like cattle. Entire civilizations literally ground up as fodder to produce more of their machines just so they can wait fifty thousand years and do it all over again so you’ll have to excuse me, Doctor, if I don’t give a rat’s ass about you _or_ your ship.”

The spindly stranger could have been part salarian, limbs hanging loose yet unable to keep still at all. An abandoned omni-tool caught his eye and he snatched it up in a fit of movement.

"Your whole galaxy under threat,” the Doctor echoed idly, poking and prodding his find. “Trillions of lives lost.”

Wholly innocuous and harmless, the man fiddled with the tool as the tale he spun grew monstrous.  “That’s _nothing_! Multiply that by a hundred billion. _Two_ hundred billion! They now have the means to take their massacre to all reaches of the universe, this one and my own!”

Shepard couldn’t find air to breathe. "What are you saying, Doctor?”

A fit of anger sparked into a wildfire and the man’s clown mask finally burned away.

“ _They have my ship_!”

The Doctor went on the prowl, his fury one step ahead of him.  “Someone left me a bright, shiny present!  A time window- a puzzle they knew I’d find irresistible and more the fool me! Drag me here and steal my ship from me- in the wrong hands she can smash causality to pieces!”

He set aside the omni-tool, instead searching for something a million miles away.

“This evil you speak of, Commander, this nightmare you say you’d battle to your dying breath-“

In an instant, all pretense of humanity vanished- the Doctor that turned to Shepard was wholly _alien_. 

“An unstoppable force that can shatter what has already passed, what has yet to come- imagine it unleashed throughout _all_ of time and space and _then_ you’ll have your answer!”

_Shivers of pain in a shelled out London Shepard had never met. The chill of the sub-deck together with the hot spill of blood pouring over his hands._

Shaking himself free, Shepard met Kaidan in shared understanding.

What was it EDI had said? Maybe the impossible just became possible.

Grit filled Shepard’s mouth. “Let’s go find your damn ship.”

The room went wild.

“Commander!” Vega broke through first in disbelief. “You believe this shit? Dude here is bug fuck crazy!”

“Changing history?” Javik sneered along in rare agreement.   “Other universes? Such talk is pure fantasy! Recovering the VI will yield more fruit than this idiot babbling!”

“ _Enough_!” Liara’s measured force shuttered the room into silence. “Each and every one of us owes our lives to Shepard and his instincts.  How can you be so quick to doubt his judgment?”

Shepard sifted through his thoughts.

“Our one shot at the VI is gone, the Crucible is exposed and without the Catalyst, we’ve got exactly jack and shit to make the damned thing work! The Reapers hold all the cards, yet this guy shows up and they come at us like a plague of locusts, only to let us go. We need to find out why!”

“I don’t get it.” Kaidan glanced between them all. “If what he says is true- then why are we still here? Why haven’t we been wiped out yet?”

“I’m sure you’re familiar with déjà vu,” The Doctor turned professorial.  “That inescapable feeling that you’ve experienced something before.  Have you never wondered what it was? What the universe is telling you in that very moment?”

His restless hands plucked up an ampoule of medi-gel from its resting place for further examination.

“Every decision we make spirals outwards into infinite possibilities- all flowing downstream towards the same eventuality. We live. We die. It’s the bit in the middle that can be a rather turbulent mess but that’s where all the good parts are. Every once  in a great while, the streams touch upon each other and you catch a glimpse of that different reality. The TARDIS, though-“

The Doctor sighed as a great weight settled across his shoulders, his hands slipping into his pockets.

“The TARDIS in the wrong hands can move mountains. Shift the course of reality and nothing is the same again.  She may have already diverted our course and we would never know until it was too late- a few small minnows trapped in their own little tide pool.”

Not a sound came from them, all of them bearing silent witness to the Doctor’s soft warning.

 “We’ll be trapped inside it- watching it dry up bit by bit until it vanishes from existence unless we fight our way out.”

That burst their dire bubble and Shepard surveyed the sea of stunned faces. 

“If his ship has even half the power he says it does,” he asked with deliberation.  “Can we really afford not to go after it?”

“If your Reapers are half as evil as you say they are,” the Doctor echoed, bringing all eyes on him.  “Then they’ll leave you no choice.”

Kaidan was all rumble. “They’ll wipe us clean from the slate of history.”

Perhaps by chance, perhaps not but the choice of words uttered by the one who spoke them punched a hole clean through Shepard’s chest.  Kaidan met him eye to eye with a million questions and it was only then Shepard realized he was staring.

 “There will always be monsters,” the Doctor mused among them. “Pompous, arrogant, vainglorious creatures that find some tortuous excuse to tear down life as if it were nothing when it’s the most precious thing of all.  Your monsters are not so different. They mean to conquer-”

This scrapyard of a man turned his hands to fists, his fire showing from behind a dandy’s mask. “But I won’t let them.”

Shepard radiated his own challenge.  “And neither will I.”

Delight flowered into a hopeful smile and the Doctor said,  “Let’s get started, shall we?”

The magic man extracted a wand from somewhere deep within his coat.

“Sonic screwdriver. Never leave home without one.” 

The thing danced between his fingers. “I’ll need access to anything that can emit a proper signal, one that reaches galaxy wide.”

“My equipment is capable of that,” Liara piped in, happy to oblige.  “With EDI’s help, we’ll have something cobbled together in no time.”

“Excellent!  Lead the way!”

Their departure was met with displeasure.

“This is no small decision, Shepard,” Javik said in one final parting shot. “Let us hope that it is the right one.”

Shepard stared him down as the prothean left. “That’s all we can ever do, Javik.”

“Sorry, Commander. “ James rubbed at the back of his neck, his bulk making for an awkward shuffle. “It’s not you I don’t trust. What I don’t get is how you can trust that guy.”

“Can’t blame you for that,” Shepard offered in return. “Because I don’t.”

His surprise turned Vega ten years younger. “You _what_?  But, sir, you just-”

“There’s a difference between belief and trust, James and right now, we have to make do with what we’ve got.”

Duty satisfied, Vega filtered his men from med bay but Shepard couldn’t do the same.

Not yet.

“You’re not going anywhere, Major!” Chakwas planted Kaidan back into bed with a well-placed shove.  “Not until I’ve gone over you with a fine tooth comb!”

Kaidan settled in with reluctance and Shepard returned to his side.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I’m not,” Kaidan opened up, freely showing his worry.  “Not really. I saw some things that shook me up.  And I...”

He licked his lips as he searched Shepard’s face.  “And I know you did too.”

Silence was answer enough to make Kaidan falter.

“Shepard, I’m sorry that I caused-” He twisted up in a world of agony, full of insistence. “This new power – you’ve seen what it can do. It’s too wild, too dangerous but desperate times lead to desperate measures.”

Kaidan held his gaze, both of them wounded creatures. “If we try to recreate it and I can’t control this thing, I need to know that you’ll keep everyone safe-”

Shepard swallowed thickly and came back with as careful an answer as he could muster. “I won’t let anything happen to you or anyone else.”

For once, Shepard was grateful to hear an interruption from Joker. >> “Commander, you have a priority message from Admiral Anderson.”<<

Or not.

“We’ll talk later.”

Kaidan settled against his pillow, eyes hardening in determination. “Damn right we will.”

The link to Anderson was even worse quality than usual. 

>>“Shepard!” << Anderson made for a breathless figure, his image barely in focus. >>“You won’t believe this!  _I_ can’t believe this!  The Reapers have gone quiet!” <<

This sounded too familiar. “ _What_?”

>>“It gets better. Or worse.  Still not sure which. Reports coming in are saying that the Reapers remain active in every other system- Thessia, Palaven, you name it. It’s only Earth where we’ve got a reprieve.” <<

The admiral’s agitation reached across the galaxy. >> “I’m trying to get more information from our allies but the Council damn near lost their minds once the Citadel took orbit over London-“<<

“The Citadel’s over _London_ ,” Shepard echoed and-

- _every inch of him was on fire, nerve endings shutting down as his skin charred past recognition-_

>>“I know,”<< Anderson continued, sympathizing with the shiver radiating through Shepard but for all the wrong reasons.  >>“Couldn’t believe it at first but we were fools to think Saren was the only trap they set there.”<<

A vein throbbed deep in Shepard’s temple. “The Council would never abandon the place. But you’d dam well better evacuate now!”

>>“In progress as we speak,”<< came the swift confirmation.  >>“But we’re talking about moving thirteen million people. It’s going to take time and we’ve got every allied race breathing down our necks. Half think Cerberus finally have the Reapers on a leash, the other think we’ve got the Crucible working just for us and neither of those things have a lick of truth behind ‘em.” <<

Anderson let out a sigh that rattled his bones. >>“Tell me you’ve got something for me, Shepard.”<<

“I might,” Shepard offered, so full of caution.  “But it’s a long shot.”

There was a crooked smile from the old man. >>“You certainly specialize in those, don’t you?”<<

That coaxed out an answering grin from Shepard. “I guess I do.”

His mentor faded and his commanding officer returned. 

>>“I’ll give your chance,”<< Anderson began, back to fire and brimstone. >>“Hackett’s mobilized the rest of the fleet for a full assault.  We’ll rally what we’ve got and take out those bastards out while they’re down! And Shepard-”<<

Anderson wiped at his brow, eroding a little of his resolve away.

>>“Make it quick, son. We need you here.”<<

His image faded but his words did not and it left Shepard with more questions than answers.

Perhaps Liara made progress.  The muffled sound of EDI through the bulkhead as he neared carried with it some promise. Doors parted for him and Shepard walked into hell.

>>“A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink,”<< EDI relayed over the comm to anyone who would listen. >>“Upon being asked the price, the bartender responded, ‘For you? No charge.’”<<

An abysmally awful kind of hell.

The Doctor’s bray of a laugh did him no favors.

“Brilliant!” the man declared in pure joy, his hands working of their own accord, tapping out a rapid tattoo on a keyboard faster than Shepard thought possible.

Data flowed across the screens consuming one wall of Liara’s office, a meaningless stream of numbers rushing past but the Doctor absorbed it all, ridiculous grin consuming his face.

His grin grew brighter, fingers snapping out a demand. “Wait, wait, wait! I’ve got one! Tell me if you’ve heard this before!”

Liara carried her head in her hands, withdrawn to a corner in a pile of misery.

“It’s been like this since we started,” she confessed, fingers massaging a point on her temple. “I’m not sure how much longer this can go on before I cause someone bodily harm.”

If the Doctor heard her, he paid no notice. 

“A bartender turns to his proton friend and offers him anything he’d like to drink on the house. His friend declines. ‘Are you sure?’, the bartender asks.  The proton replies ‘I’m positive’!”

>>“Excellent!” EDI replied.>> “I will add that to my data-” <<

She paused and they all paused with her.

>> “I’ve found something.”<<

The screens flashed- pieces and fragments of information coalescing into single, solitary point. 

It meant nothing to Shepard but the Doctor leaned in to deliver a sloppy kiss to the screen closest to him. “EDI, you exquisite creature!  Don’t tell my TARDIS that I said that- she’d be rather jealous!”

>>“I will not share that information if you won’t.”<<

I heard that!” Joker’s voice broke through, ripe with displeasure. “Are you messin’ with my girl? Don’t make me come down there!”

“No worries!” Delirium had the Doctor alight, nearly floating away if not trapped within the confines of the Normandy.  “My hearts belong to another! And there she is, my beauty!”

Liara slipped into a puzzled frown. “Is that where I think it is?”

A wave of dread nearly bowled Shepard over. “Let me guess. It’s on the Citadel.”

His answer had Liara turning on him with piercing scrutiny.  “How did you know?”

“Tide’s rolling out.”  Shepard braced himself, letting air fill his lungs. “Joker!  Set a course for Earth!”

\----

Mass relays made the galaxy a smaller place but not small enough.  A half day would be the fastest they’d get back to Sol and sleep under the circumstances would never be forthcoming.  Sit reps, stats and military chatter hammered Shepard to exhaustion but there was no room for rest and unlike Cronos Station, there was little for him to go on but rumor.

The mother of all headaches had its start in the tight knot at the base of his neck and he worked at it in the ride down to med bay.  The urge to get there was uttermost and he fought to catch himself as the lift doors swung open, preventing himself from colliding with his very reason for going.

Kaidan made for a pensive statue in front of the memorial wall.

“There you are,” Shepard approached softly, bringing himself alongside shoulder to shoulder. “Just coming to check on you.”

His closeness flipped a switch and Kaidan turned restless, weight shifting back and forth.

“Sorry. Went a little stir crazy. Karin finally kicked me out.”  

Kaidan was… off, his breaths coming out dry and fragmented.  “I got stuck here, though.”

This reticence was not what Shepard was used to. “What’s wrong?”

“You saw me,” Kaidan breathed out, the memorial keeping him in its thrall. “You saw me on the sub-deck before this all started. A ripple in time, maybe? Like the Doctor said.  If it was, then we both know there was more than that.”

He swallowed thickly, reaching out to the columns of names that were far too long, the tips of his fingers hovering just below the empty space between. . “I close my eyes and see names that shouldn’t be here. And I can’t stop thinking-”

His voice turned to peat and smoke.  “That somewhere, some _when_ , this is _real_ -“

“Whatever happens in another reality, we’re in this one. That’s all we’ve got.”  Shepard wasn’t so sure who he was trying to convince.

“I know.” Kaidan closed his eyes, jaw wound so tight that the smallest movement could set it to break. “I _should_ know, at least.”

His eyes shot open and Shepard got hit full force by a storm of sorrow, direct witness to Kaidan in mourning.

“Your name was on this wall, Shepard,” Kaidan continued quietly, a thunderstorm beginning to form within his chest. “And I was the one who put it there.”

That hard fought composure came apart at the seams. “Don’t make me do that again. _Please_.”

How easy it was in battle- to know what to do, which course of action to take. Shepard had none of that capability now and all he could do was place a tentative hand on the small of the other man’s back.

“I’m here now,” he said, throat raw and burning. “And I’m not going anywhere. Not if I can help it.”

A simple touch was what he intended, but the results were explosive.

Shepard found himself pressed backwards, Kaidan twisting up leather in both hands with the same force which he took Shepard’s mouth.  This was no kiss, so much as taking possession, Kaidan laying claim to anything he could reach and Shepard welcomed it, needed it, carding through to grab great fistfuls of hair to take a hold of his own. 

They had their own private sphere for the moment and anyone who dared intrude could go to hell.

“I can’t-“ Kaidan let slip before pressing against Shepard again, his voice packed with gravel. “I need this out of my head, Shepard-“

That was something they had in common.  

They moved arm in arm; these two battle-tested soldiers stumbling together to the lift.  The ride to Shepard’s quarters wasn’t long but it damn well felt like an eternity.

Kisses continued, but there was no want for elegance here, no art to it.  It came down to sensation pared down to bone and sinew with no thought left to spare for their troubles.  For once, time was on their side and they turned to a rare lassitude, rejecting any outside pressure, the only sense of urgency present meant for each other.

They took their turns in soft exploration, no rush once bared to each other. Shepard soaked in what he could, marking every quirk of lip and brow, recording the smallest sound and breath to see which touch had the greatest effect.  He got what he wanted in the back of the knee where the slightest pressure set Kaidan laughing or the space just beneath the ribs that the scrape of a fingernail that had the man gasping instead.

Kaidan did not sit idly by.  They complemented each other here just as they did on the battlefield.

Shepard kept to touch and sight while Kaidan kept his plan of attack wholly different yet no less devastating.

Eyes kept shuttered, Kaidan sought Shepard out by taste and smell.  Relentless was one word to describe him and Shepard had plenty more, like tenacious and doggedly persistent. Mouthing the curve of his instep, the crook of his arm, got Shepard shaking and Kaidan made damn sure Shepard ran out of words.

That didn’t mean he remained silent.

Shepard made something low and guttural at the hand steadying his hip and another for the slow exhalation warming the small of his back, but it was nothing to the sound ripped out of him with the first touch of a probing tongue and good _god_ Kaidan knew how to make him dance, kneading the curve of ass apart to stab at Shepard again and again and higher reasoning tossed aside at the wet and hot and scrape of stubble against his skin, nerve endings firing like mad as Kaidan tasted the most intimate part of him.

It left Shepard adrift with just this one connection, Kaidan eating him alive and the need to do something, _anything_ , built to a head, bubble bursting as he scrambled for a way for them to both get what they wanted.

It was awkward, it took work but Shepard found Kaidan had a flavor. 

Just a touch of salt, of sweat with a hint of musk-the same scent that always made the shuttle-ride back from missions pure torture.  Sharp tang, paired with a little bitterness but nothing offensive and he delivered an intimate kiss that had the whole of Kaidan twitching around the tongue splaying him apart.

After a while, this proved to be not enough and Shepard wet a finger, teasing Kaidan open to the air. The pace remained slow and methodical-not for any desire for patience, but to prolong the frustration that met it, to make the outcome all the sweeter as Shepard worked on eroding this man’s hard fought control away.

It was a beautiful thing to witness. The same passion, the same courage Kaidan quietly shouldered when in battle turned primal here.  Kaidan kept nothing hidden, that calm reserve dissolved into ether, and he gave anything Shepard asked of him and Shepard could only do the same.

Just the two of them alone in the dark and time turned back to an ancient place, two warriors, two shield-brothers finding kinship in all ways

Shepard found himself knuckles deep and Kaidan rose up on all fours to tear at the sheets with Shepard twisting inside him. Another finger and Shepard scissored through a moan so deep, so primeval he could feel it from within.

Still not enough.

Some preparation of his own and Shepard finally took himself in hand but Kaidan stole the initiative out from under him, arching upwards to impale himself on the blunt head, bearing down to create short, shallow thrusts.  Shepard found the rest of his way but with an aching slowness that bordered on the pain he fought to prevent.

Hitting bottom had them both fighting for air.

Something as basic as breathing and they’d both forgotten how in this singular moment.

Such a seamless fit, molded to each other.  Such calm and with a connection so perfect that neither wished to break it just yet. If it were possible to capture the feeling to hold onto it forever, they would but time refused to stay still and so did they.

A simple rocking built upon itself at Kaidan’s urging and Shepard moved into fuller, deeper strokes that put them both into their place.  The dig of fingers into his thigh- Kaidan pulling at him to reject any gentility- got Shepard throwing his full weight into the thrusts, these teeth rattling thrusts. 

The pace was unsustainable but Shepard wasn’t one to give up so easily. He gathered Kaidan to him and as one, they fell to one side in an ungainly heap but appearance was the last thing on his mind. What they lost in depth, they gained in contact and Shepard molded the whole of whole body to Kaidan to claim his mouth again.

A hand ran between them and Kaidan worked himself with swift strokes, until they found that a rough synchrony, driving into his fist in a counterpoint to Shepard’s thrusts.

The air turned ripe with the sounds and smells of sex and Shepard drank it up, the grunts from Kaidan bringing him precipitously close to the edge.  Base and rumble that tore from deep in Kaidan’s chest made for beautiful music and Shepard found his hips going into a different rhythm of their own accord. 

Kaidan met the change on instinct and with his voice gone raw, there was no way for Shepard to last.

Feet flexing, limbs shaking, Shepard came and came and still Shepard didn’t stop, unwilling to end this with Kaidan so close.  He kept at his thrusts as much as he could with his teeth working the straining muscle in Kaidan’s neck and then he bit down just enough-

And Kaidan shattered.

Shepard soothed him through the wave, Kaidan shooting between their bellies with his thighs trembling until collapse was the only option.

They stayed this way, a sated tangle of limbs, clinging to this bed and its fragile peace as the one place they both could call home.

\-----------------

Docking clamps latched on to the Normandy with grim finality. There was little life left in the Citadel, its bays one of the few and final places with any sign of activity. Shepard took the ramp in long strides, knowing somehow that one way or the other, it would be for the very last time.

“Things always get interesting when you’re around, Shepard.”

Shepard turned to a familiar, grizzled face with an outstretched hand. “Bailey! Maybe this time we’ll keep things nice and boring for you.”

“Little chance of that,” the gruff man replied, exhausted eyes taking them both to the view of the world outside.  “Not with those bastards looking over our shoulders.”

Silhouettes of giants blotted out the stars.

Reapers drifted through space, docile and passive, floating without purpose.  Alliance ships flittered around them like gulls pecking at a dead whale carcass, preparing to let loose once those on the Citadel were free and clear. 

Bailey wore the mantel of a weary king who’d lost his throne. “Didn’t expect I’d live long enough to see them up so close and personal. Whole thing smells like a trap to me, though.”

“Of _course_ it’s a trap!” the Doctor comfortably interrupted, bouncing down the gangway with a little too much energy in his step. “Only a fool would think otherwise!” 

He dusted down the front of his trousers with no small amount of drama. “But that’s what makes life interesting!  Now, let’s see about my ship…”

Bailey shot a skeptical eye at Shepard. “He’s a bit… different from the crowd you usually hang out with.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Shepard shared under his breath. 

Together, they watched in trepidation as the Doctor flung himself at the nearest access point for the Citadel’s VI as if Christmas had come early.

The hologram moved into action. “Greetings, and welcome to Docking Bay D27! My name is AVINA. How may I assist you today?” 

“My goodness!”  The Doctor let a finger twirl a forelock of his hair, winding up his thoughts. “I don’t get someone offering to help very often. Ah, yes!  A simple map of the area would suffice.”

“Maps are available for download via omni-tool at-“

That took a bit of wind from his sails.

“Oh, dear. Is that one of the fancy bracelets that everyone wears?  Sorry, not big on jewelry. Hmm.  How about an intercom system? Have you got one of those?”

“Station-wide announcements are reserved for authorized personnel only.”

The lanky man plucked at his pockets until he found his favorite toy, screwdriver twirling in his hand until it flashed green.  “Ooo, can’t I just use it for a bit?  It’s rather important-“

“Station-wide announcements are reserved forforforforfor-“

A high pitched sonic squeal made the hologram skip a beat.

Bailey was not amused. “What the ever loving hell is he doing?”

“Being a giant pain in my ass,“ Shepard sighed with his whole body, rubbing at one eyebrow as if this might somehow keep the agony away. 

AVINA remained calm even if her words did not. “Unauthorized access. Interference in system operations will result in harsh penalties-”

“Blah, blah, blah,” the Doctor muttered to himself with terrible satisfaction until-

Ear bleeding levels of feedback piped directly into the ear communicator of every being there, followed by the Doctor booming out a pleased >>“Hallooo, everyone!”  <<

The Doctor was all teeth and an eager wave, waggling his sonic screwdriver as he spoke into it, taking no notice at the many scowling faces looking his way. >>“I’ve lost something rather important and I was wondering if you could help me find it?”<<

He rolled on without fear. >>“It’s a big, blue box. About so high, flashy bit on top. Anyone? Anyone?”<<

The lack of response made his rubber face fall.  >>“Well, carry on, then.”<<

A surveillance drone shot out of a hatch from the Normandy, alighting from one frazzled refugee to another.

“ _Bosh_ _’_ _tet_!”  Tali stormed after it but the drone continued its dance away from her.  “Gazu!  _Come_!”

The stubborn sphere did not listen as called, steadfastly ignoring her as it fluttered from corner to corner.

“Blasted thing!”  The quarian looked more than ready to perform some percussive maintenance on the drone to get it to see her way.  “None of the sensors on the Citadel can be trusted to pick up the energy signature we need and I’ve tweaked that drone as our only option. But it won’t work if that hunk of junk can’t listen!”

“My fault! My fault!” the Doctor announced, his arms spreading out to the world. “I might have tweaked a few things! Oh, how I miss having a pet!” 

He brought his fingers to his lips and the whistle that followed could have ruptured a ship’s hull, but the little sphere briskly returned to be awarded an affectionate pat.

“Who’s a good boy, then?  You are, yes you are!”

Kaidan joined in, squinting into the distance at the remaining evacuees. “How much longer do you think until they’re safe, Commander?”

“Not much more.” Bailey’s answer came with poor focus, his attention consumed by the need of a watchful eye. “There’s a few Batarian freighters due in for the final clean up but we’re pretty much done without ‘em.”

His own words set Bailey back on his heels.

“It’s a hell of a thing, Shepard. Been my home for so long, it’s hard to think of it as anything but.  But the Reapers built the damn thing.  We should have cleared out of here long ago.”

Shepard settled a reassuring hand on the shoulder of a comrade at arms. “We weren’t the first civilization to take the bait but we’re going to make damn sure we’re the last.”

Tranquility shattered into a million pieces with screams and the acrid smell of used up thermal clips filling the air.  Familiar armor had every soldier snarling.

“Cerberus!”  Bailey spat out, pistol already out of its holster.  “What the hell is that Illusive bastard up to-“

Kaidan let loose a blast of biotics as more enemy troops poured in. “I think it’s safe to say that those weren’t really Batarian freighters.”

“We need backup out here!” Shepard snapped into his comm and his crew was swift to respond.

They melded into a single mind, forming a cohesive unit, bonded by blood and sweat, combining skills tempered in battle.  No simple soldiers, the fought as an extension of each other-

But for one minor distraction.

A low hum came from the Doctor’s toy and the surveillance drone snapped to attention. “Take care of your people, Commander!”

If Shepard had a bullet to spare, he’d have shot the man himself. “What the _hell_ are you doing?”

The Doctor only had eyes for his pet. “Go on, then!  Find her for me, there’s a good dog!”

The drone beeped and squealed and sped off with the Doctor dashing after. “See you when I get back!  I’ll take the short way round!” 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake-” Shepard shifted his rifle, preparing to give chase but a hand clasped on his shoulder gave him pause.

He found Kaidan, who would brook no argument. “You’re not going alone.”

James’s voice filtered through to their ear, adding his opinion to the mix. >>“We’ll hold down the fort here, Commander. Go get that scrawny little fucker!”<<

That ‘scrawny little fucker’ had a bit of a lead, but Shepard had the determination to close it. He sprinted at full bore, Kaidan trailing behind to cover his back once a squad of Cerberus troops splintered off to follow.

“Your universe is quite fascinating, Commander!”  the Doctor prattled over his shoulder, unsurprised and unrepentant that he led them on a merry chase. “Had a poke ‘round the old databanks while in Liara wasn’t looking.  That Illusive fellow seems doesn’t seem very illusive to me. Typical megalomaniac who thinks he’s too clever by far.   Power mad, secret hideouts, evil henchmen.  Wants all the toys to himself. Standard stuff, really! No imagination!”

Shepard lobbed a grenade at the assault troopers bearing down on them. “I’m sure he’d be crushed you think so.”

“And well he should because I have quite a few travel miles under my belt!”  The Doctor ignored the hail of gunfire hitting the space just a few inches from his head. “This is all so familiar. Earth in danger. Genocidal race of machines that think they’re better than everyone sticking their nose in everyone’s business. Feels just like home!”

“People are dying, Doctor!” Kaidan barked, sending off a bolt of power that tossed a Phantom through the air fueled by his fury. “Try not to enjoy this so much!”

For once, there was silence and they continued on their mad dash.  Rubble rained down as they darted after the drone, Cerberus snapping at their heels.  They went up and up and up or perhaps down, for in the Citadel, it could have been either. A messy scramble through a maintenance tunnel became their best chance at evasion and emerged from that to find themselves quite alone.

Kaidan used the brief respite to full advantage.  “This section’s not on any map I’ve got. So where are we?”

“Good question.” Shepard searched the featureless walls surrounding them but they held few answers.

The drone beeped a new tune that turned the Doctor into a bundle of excitement. “We’re on the right track is where we are!” 

His long arm snaked out, guiding their eyes to a big, blue box hidden in shadow, nestled in an alcove as if that had always been its place.

Though the big, blue box was not alone. 

“Two Engineers,” Kaidan counted off as he smoothly took to what little cover there was. “Two Centurions.  And they look awfully busy.”

“How did they get ahead of us?” the Doctor mused softly. “Or perhaps they were already here…”

His Black Widow gave Shepard the means to investigate, its scope giving him a bird’s eye view.  “They’ve been here long enough to install something. A kinetic lock, maybe? Or a shield. The tech doesn’t look familiar.”

The line of Kaidan’s back turned into a knot of confusion. “Someone stole his ship, stuck it in the middle of nowhere and threw a squad of soldiers at it. Does that make sense to you?”

“No.” Shepard settled the sniper rifle against his shoulder. “But we’ll find out more soon enough.”

A target fell into his sights and set up for a shot with a long, slow squeeze-

But something jammed up his trigger.

The finger lodged within the trigger guard and the man attached to it received the full weight of Shepard’s glare. “If you don’t mind, we’re trying to get you your damn ship!”

The annoying little shit yanked his finger free where it ended up coddled in safety between his lips.

“You were going to shoot them!” the Doctor mumbled around his abused digit.

Shepard lit up in anger. “We’re _soldiers_ in a _fire fight_! What do you expect us to do? _Hug_ them to death?”

The Doctor freed his finger with an audible pop. “Let me handle this my way!”

He reached into his endless pockets and Kaidan had nowhere to go with the sonic screwdriver taking a bead on him. “Doctor, what are y-“

“Don’t be alarmed! Everything’s under control!”

No time to react before a flash of green hit Shepard as well and the world turned quiet. Not a thing from outside his suit could be heard, trapped within his armor with only the sound of his own breathing as company. Kaidan tapped at his own helmet, signaling the same and they were forced to sit and bear mute witness to the Doctor calling the drone to him in a mad flail. 

A few gesticulations later and the obedient drone tottered off, its owner a proud papa.  It headed straight to the TARDIS and Shepard found himself reeled in alongside Kaidan to share in the nonexistent cover.

It played out in silence, the drone making itself as much of a nuisance as its owner, dogging the hapless soldiers until it had their attention.  At the very first shot fired upon the drone, it happened.  The drone flared a brilliant scarlet and Shepard could feel it, vibrations from the outside world making his armor thrum. Kaidan felt it too, eyes a window to his bewilderment.

Cerberus was not so lucky, each man beginning to tremble and shake, clutching at their ears to no avail until they faltered and fell.

“Come along, gentlemen! Fido only had enough power to do that once.” 

Innocent words turned explosive with the sudden return to sound and Shepard was the first to his feet, helping Kaidan rise to his. “You good?”

Little lines of laughter reached Kaidan’s eyes as he answered 'never better' and that was the consolation Shepard needed. 

The Doctor fairly skipped along with his pet drone tagging along behind him.

“Sorry!  Sorry!” he said, dancing his apology around each unconscious lump he passed on the way to his ship.  “There you are, my lovely!  Oh, how I’ve missed you!”

He ignored the two metal boxes clamped onto her sides, reaching for the door with a simple key. An arc of energy denied him as it got the air sizzling and an electronic wail began to sing. “Oh, dear.”

“ _Oh dear!_?” Kaidan cut in, eyeing readings from his omni-tool. “Cerberus will be on is in a heartbeat!”

“No worries!”  The Doctor added a flourish as he hiked up his coat sleeves, magic screwdriver whirring away at the first of the metal boxes. “Soon have it sorted! Though these look slightly more complicated than expected-”

Billowing dust and ash billowing from their farthest exit made for an ominous cloud and cornered with little cover was the last place Shepard wanted to be. “Sort it sooner, because we’ve got company!”

A tight cluster of bullets ricocheting off of bright blue doors brought his point home, and the soldiers leapt to their duty.

“He’s a sitting duck!” shouted Kaidan and Shepard had the same thought. They maintained position as safeguard and opened fire. 

Their shields withered under a beating and Shepard shook off hit after hit. His armor bore the brunt, but the onslaught of damage made it unsustainable and he burned through medi-gel as sparingly as he could. 

“Got one!”  They could barely hear the Doctor’s shout over the din as he passed off the disassembled lock to them as if gifting them with a week-dead trout. “Though you might want to get rid of it before it explodes!”

Body already on the move, Shepard made to launch the thing as far as he could send it. “That little tidbit probably should have come up a little earlier in the conversation!”

Before he could reach it, a burst of biotic blue encased the hunk of metal and Shepard refused to breathe until Kaidan sent it flying.

The explosion took out a few more guns out of the game but it was nothing compared to the shockwaves rocking the floor beneath their feet.

The two soldiers connected in a sidelong glance and Kaidan broke first. “That… can’t be good.”

“Doctor-” Shepard began in warning, his heart sinking into the smoke as it cleared around a familiar outline.

Goliath lumbered towards them and Shepard made for an angry David, running low on stones for his slingshot.

 

“Love to chat, Commander, but how about later?” Sweat carved a trail through the soot gathering on Doctor’s forehead. “Can’t you see I’m working?”

Shepard expected the  Atlas to take its shot, but no rocket launch came. “Well, there’s a big damn mech with a big damn gun heading our way so how about you _hurry the fuck up?_ ”

The Doctor breaking off from his work was not what Shepard wanted to see.  “You’ve been a very good dog. I’m sorry. Now go!”

No longer idle, the drone zipped off as commanded, heading straight for the heart of the fight, taking the brunt of the battle’s heat with it as it harassed the mech with everything it had.

The reprieve made Shepard grateful but his search for more medi-gel in those precious seconds came up empty.

A gloved hand raised an ampoule in offering and Kaidan had an exhausted whisper in his ear. “Take it. It’s my last one.”

Shepard felt the fire in his calf, the blood trickling into his boot and turned in grim finality.  “He’s got to get this thing out of here. Whatever the price.”

“I… I know,” Kaidan faltered. “I’ve got your back. Whatever happens.”

Forehead to forehead, they stayed together for what precious seconds they could spare, close as they could be though their armor kept them worlds apart. They shared everything left between them, some of it tangible, some not.

The drone continued its valiant effort, but one well-placed shot finally blasted it from the air and suddenly hell opened again. 

They fell back form a human cordon against their attackers but this distance gave them no quarter.

The frantic litanies of “comeoncomeoncomeON” from the man behind them made the decision for Shepard. He took position with the mech in his sights, but it left him open, exposed. His first shot cracked its canopy, sending fissure lines through the glass and its pilot into a panic. The second sent the mech into flames.  He would have pushed his luck to take a third but a warning from forever ago rang in his ears.

_Keep your head down, okay?_

Shepard never saw it coming, but they say you never did for what finally killed you.

All he got was a hum, a sniper’s shot, burning through what was left of his shields.

It grazed his helmet with enough force behind it to set his ears ringing- far better than cleaving his head from his shoulders as it would have done if he hadn’t already been in motion.

“Hackett to Shepard!” 

The call from the admiral came through in pieces but energy from the old man pushed through Shepard’s fog. “We got your message! We’ll have the Crucible in position ASAP!”

“Sir, what do you…” Shepard had a thousand questions weighing down his tongue, the ache in his head pounding him into insensibility yet they still fought their way out. “We haven’t-”

 

“What was that, Shepard? You’re breaking up-” Hackett demanded but more blasts rained down and now was not the time for talking.

 

He never stopped firing but the edges lost their focus as Shepard burned through what was left of his strength.  “Hurry.. Doctor…”

  
A clatter and the Doctor’s delighted shout marked the fall of the second clamp but it wasn’t soon enough. Shepard battled to stay conscious but today, that was not a fight he would win and the world slipped away.

\---------

Kaidan saw him go down.  Hard. “ _Shepard_!”

Pain lanced through his thigh, but Kaidan hobbled to the prone body. Clinical inspection led to cold horror at the crack that nearly split Shepard’s helmet in two.

Exhaustion brought him to the edge of succumbing yet he needed to fight, to protect, to do _something_ , even if it meant little in the minutes to come.  Clutching Shepard to him, he reached out to will a barrier into existence, his focus so taken in its construction that he had none left so see the bloodied hand touching his arm and-

 _Piles of rubble under his feet, and Kaidan stood tall, Big Ben a silhouette against a sky turned to ash. Running, running with Shepard taking the lead, both towards a bright, bright light. The sound of a Reaper cannon comes far too close and four tonnes of what used to be a tank come at him like it_ _’_ _s been tossed by a disgruntled child. The impact knocks him off his feet, shrapnel tearing him to shreds as if his armor were paper. He_ _’_ _s on his hands and knees and through the smoke, he reaches out to see Shepard running to his aid. The light from the cannon_ _’_ _s second run hits him before he hears anything but by then, there_ _’_ _s nothing but pain and it_ _’_ _s far too late-_

 _A sickening lurch and the agony is still there but the location isn_ _’_ _t the same.  Is this.. is this the Normandy?  The world turned grey around the edges but Kaidan can still make out the face  of the man written on his heart._

 _“_ _Sh..shepard._ _”_

 _Kaidan needs to walk but he_ _’_ _s robbed of the chance with his life spilling out of him, staining the sub-deck red and the only thing keeping him upright is the bulkhead. This was it.  This was what Shepard saw before this nightmare began.  So many warnings he wants to give but it_ _’_ _s hard to speak around the blood filling his mouth but all he can think of is the sight of a helmet nearly cut in two and he has no idea if he_ _’_ _s even speaking._

_“_ _Hold on!_ _”_ _Shepard sounds frantic and so very, very far away and Kaidan is numb to the pressure applied to his wounded thigh-_

The Doctor’s insistence in his ear punched through the haze. “Kaidan! I need you to focus!” 

What could have been vanished, leaving him aflame with the waves of biotics burning through him. Sweat pooled in the small of his back and Kaidan knew he was fading fast in this dance through hell.  “I’m here!”

His sight returned and what he saw sorely made him wish it hadn’t. 

The whole of the world gone still.  

A moment of war trapped in time and it meant beauty and horror intertwined.

Bursts of color firing from the muzzle of a gun, a deadly flower trapped at the precise moment it unfurled. 

Shards of debris peppering the air might have been mistaken for snowflakes caught in mid-flight. 

“Up you get!” The Doctor had more strength to him than one would first guess as he shouldered Kaidan to his feet.  “Try not to think about it, but if you stop making your fancy pants field thingy, this little bubble of time I’ve made of it will fall apart and everything gets all shooty again and we’ll likely get blown to bits. No pressure!”

“Is that your idea of being reassuring?” Kaidan bowed his head, trying to hide the tremble in his hands as his biotics leeched what strength he had left. “Because that’s kind of the opposite.”

“Really?” The Doctor appeared rather taken aback. “No pleasing some people.”

Together, they raised Shepard’s limp form between them, the Doctor leading them to his ship with determination. 

“Are we all going to fffit in there?” Kaidan asked, fighting hard to keep the slur from his words as the other man used his long legs to boot open a door.

“I should think so!” the Doctor declared. “I jettisoned the extra swimming pool ages ago, so there’s loads of room left!”

The three of them squeezed through a gap that shouldn’t have been enough any single one of them on their own before the door swung shut behind them.

Kaidan lowered Shepard to the ground with the greatest of care. He finally looked up for his first real look around.

Impossible. It was all so very impossible.

An exterior that should have contained something no bigger than a closet led to a chamber with stairs in every direction, with promise of so much more beyond.  The central column looked to be a collection of spare parts just as random as the man who claimed it as his home, a grab bag of tools and equipment from any and every era that Kaidan could fathom..

He swallowed hard, his stamina finally failing.  “Nice place you’ve got,” he managed before his legs gave out and everything went black.

\------------------------

Raspberries. 

Shepard could taste raspberries.

Hints of sweet, tart, sticky something faded on his tongue as awareness came back to him in stages.

A palpable thrill warmed his back, the notes it hit somewhere between mechanical and the beats of a living heart.  His eyes opened to a golden glow in a world that was both new and old under layers of burnished copper and brass. The ache and pain that dug into his bones made the need to rest paramount but duty pulled him back from the edge of tranquility.

“What… what is this place?”

Shepard willed his limbs to work but they were slow to answer.

“Kaidan-“

His struggles did not go unnoticed.

“Shh,” said the Doctor, alighting a companionable hand on Shepard’s shoulder, an old man’s soothing from a deceptively young face. “It’s all right, he’s right here. And you should really have another of these-“

A sliver of something pressed between his lips and Shepard had a mouth full of raspberries again. On instinct, he chewed and chewed and every bite brought him clarity, chasing away the tympanic tyranny going on in his mind.. He finally managed to turn his head and his fears finally allayed at the line of Kaidan laid out beside him, still lost of consciousness though his breaths came strong and regular.

The Doctor turned on an incandescent smile as he monitored Shepard’s transformation. “Never told you about the blue ones, did I?”

Chomping down on a few candies of his own, the Doctor fed a spare to Kaidan before flitting away, the old, rumpled bag of sweets hitting the floor beside Shepard with a plop.

“An old friend of yours has come calling!” the lunatic continued, sweeping around the jumble of parts that made up the room’s center column, settling his scrutiny on an ancient television monitor. “I’ll just pop out to have a little chat with him, if you don’t mind.”

The Doctor pulled a handkerchief from his sleeve to blot at his forehead, clearing away any evidence of battle.  “In twenty minutes, I’ve instructed the TARDIS to return you to your ship.”

“What are you doing-“ Shepard tried to get out but the question proved to be little hindrance for the man being asked it.

Dipping his head, the Doctor placed a hand on the console, his lips moving swiftly and Shepard failed to make out a single word.  The man rose up as if he carried a world of sadness on his shoulders, but he shucked it all aside to neaten his bowtie.

“Find the biggest, hottest sun you can and drop her into it, Commander.”

Confident, long strides carried the Doctor to a set of doors.  “No one must find her.”  

The door sprung open under his touch and he was half way through before he popped back again.

“And don’t. Touch. Anything!” the Doctor shot out in reprimand and with that he was gone.

Follow orders wasn't one of Shepard’s specialties.  First things first, though.

Kaidan sputtered to life as Shepard tended to him one sweet at a time.

"You're okay,"  Kaidan breathed out through a smile of muted gold that Shepard had to return.

"Only because of some good advice I got."

Their embrace came and went all too swiftly but in those few seconds, they knew nothing of war, knew nothing of pain and that healed them more than any magician's bag of tricks.

By necessity, the moment was fleeting and two soldiers returned to business.

"Locked," said Shepard with a final test of the doors, neither omni-tool nor fist giving him the access he sorely wanted.

"Shepard," Kaidan called sharply from the center console.  "Come take a look at this."

The antique screen that had been the focus of the Doctor’s attention became the focus of theirs, revealing the alcove that very nearly been their last stand. Amidst the devastation stood two men, both easily labeled as mad but for very different reasons.

An involuntary "son of a bitch" slipped out from him and Shepard himself couldn’t be sure which of the men on the screen it was for.

Few met the Illusive Man in the flesh and from what Shepard remembered of their last meeting, little of that true flesh remained.  Elegant trappings did little to mask the rot in his soul that festered to the surface in the form of Reaper implants and grafts he’d accepted so willingly.  How far must he have fallen to be here now, to dirty his hands in the rubble and smoke, yet he lost none of that posturing confidence as he honed in on the TARDIS.

The two men were certainly a study in contrasts- one, an alien who clothed himself in the trappings of humanity to right the smallest injustice, the other a human who broke away from the fellowship of man for the sake of his own hubris.

The Doctor remained oblivious to the other man’s presence, preoccupied with the exterior of his ship. Awkward seconds turned to minutes that felt like days and the Illusive Man’s patience wore down.

>>“I must say I’m not usually the one kept waiting.”<<

>>“Sorry, didn’t see you -gah!”<<  They watched the Doctor shrink back once he caught full sight of the man’s tattered skin.

>> “If you don’t mind me saying, looks like you’ve got a bit of a rash there,” <<he continued with a half-hearted attempt at masking his horror, flapping his hands like an injured bird attempting to take flight. >>“You might want to have that looked at-”<<

>>“Time is short, Doctor, so let’s skip the pleasantries.  I’ll need you to come along quietly.”<<

The Doctor quirked an analytical eyebrow.>> “How fascinating. You know my name, yet you clearly know nothing about me if you think I do anything without making a fuss.”<<

The primitive screen may have been small but not small enough for Shepard to miss the frisson that ran through the Illusive Man. The greater challenge was in reading the man’s face, so much of it subsumed by hard wiring and circuitry, but Shepard watched enrapt at that moment of uncertainty.

“What the hell was that?” Kaidan murmured alongside him and that all the confirmation Shepard needed.

The fractured man recovered his silver tongue.>> “There’s no love lost between Shepard and my men so you’ll have to excuse the display of force in their attempts to secure you and your ship. I’ll commend you on your resourcefulness. It’s quite impress-”<<

>>“Boring!”  <<

The Doctor boomed his proclamation far and wide and set everyone back on their heels.

>>“I’m sorry,” << the Illusive Man began, though his apology came across as cold tempered steel. >>“What did you say?”<<

>>“Boring! All so dreadfully bo- _ring_!”   <<The Doctor flung his arms wide, shouting to the rooftops. >> “I know your kind. All prim and proper but when it comes right down to it, you’re just a thug with your guns and blood and death.”<<

He began to prowl, his anger chafing against its leash and spitting venom. >>  “Sold your soul to the devil in the hopes he would make you king and now look at you.  Completely devoid of the humanity you hoped to rule. ” <<

The jester came to a halt nose to nose with the would-be king.

>>“You were keen, once.”<< Ageless eyes searched for any hint of reaction. >>“I can see it in you. But now..  just _look_ at you.  More machine than man. Lost so much of yourself that you can’t tell when someone else is pulling the strings.” <<

That shiver came again and there was blood in the water.

>>“How terrible it must be for you,”<< the Doctor murmured. >>“You. Are. _Nothing_.  You’re a _puppet_.” <<

He turned, bristling brightly and bellowing into the air. >>“Where are you? Where’s the man behind the curtain? _Show yourself_!” <<

“Oh.. oh, my god-”  Kaidan reached for the scene, all of his horror honed in onto the action unfolding on a miniscule screen and Shepard saw it too. Saw the earthquake within the Illusive Man begin as a the smallest temblor, growing and growing until the man himself simply quit, gone limp yet held upright by invisible wire.

With head lolling to one side, lips moved in a parody of life.

 _> >_ _“_ _Bring him._ _”_ _< <_

The simple phrase came out as a chorus, a multitude of voices speaking as one, with a child’s among them the strongest of all.

What aching familiarity.  Shepard knew this voice, heard it framed in a memory that he never had.

Or perhaps hadn’t had yet.

 _Wake up_ this voice said to him then and Shepard awakened now, pounding at the console, flipping dials and spinning wheels in his fury.  “One of these things has to open the damn door!”

They worked over the bits of flotsam that made up the console with little success, each man with one eye kept open to what transpired outside.

>>“Now we’re getting somewhere!”<< the Doctor declared through the screen’s small speakers, filtering through with no small amount of elation. >> “Took you long enough! Let’s get to it, shall we? It’s been a long day and I could quite use a cuppa.”<<

Chewing at the frustration clenched between his teeth, Kaidan watched what was left of the Illusive Man led the Doctor away in a twisted processional, leaving only a pair of Centurions to remain. “So that’s it?  The Doctor expects us to sit on our hands while he gets himself killed?”

A mechanical groan radiated through the chamber, amber lights flickering along with it.

Kaidan connected with Shepard with a look. “Was it something I said?”

“Maybe,” Shepard answered with a lick of his lips. “This thing is _supposed_ to fly through time and space. There’s got to be more to it than looking like it was built by a handful of drunk five year olds.”

He drew in a breath, composing his thoughts to an empty room.  “Right now, the Doctor is alone out there and we’re stuck in here.”

Shepard couldn’t be sure but the perhaps the omnipresent hum dipped just a little.

“Now, I don’t know exactly what the hell is going on out there, but I’m betting that without any backup, his chances will be a whole lot worse.  Will you help us?”

They held their breath in infinite expectation, straining to hear the littlest of things, but seconds passed into minutes and Shepard wondered if perhaps he’d been wrong all along and they would end up living out their lives in this very room-

A tiny click wiped that notion from his mind, dread turning to hope at a sliver of light spilling on the floor where none had been before.

They shared soft laughter between them and Kaidan had a smile that was easy to share. “My father always said it never hurts to be polite.”

Shepard was first to the door, testing their exit with a cautious hand. The door once sealed to them now could easily swing open, but the proximity of the remaining Centurions kept them from exiting.

“Care to do the honors?” Shepard murmured and Kaidan followed with a smooth “I’d love to.”

He’d seen it a million times before but the heat of battle rarely gave Shepard the chance to watch Kaidan at work from so close. He reveled in the opportunity to admire it now, at how easily Kaidan called up the halo suffusing his skin, his eyes transforming from warm and earthy to a brilliant blue.

Fully primed, Kaidan crackled with energy, his body now lightning captured in a bottle. Shepard was there to unleash it, booting the door open to put them on the threshold, letting that storm come crashing down over the unfortunate guards left to watch over them.

A quick scan of the area revealed that with the Centurions out of the way, they were very much alone.

“Alenko to Normandy! Joker, do you copy?” 

Shepard could hear Kaidan boom in his ear, but there was no response.

Kaidan let out a long, slow breath at the vast, open space. “What do we do now?”

“Let’s head back to the Normandy,” Shepard began. “See if we can sort out what Hackett was talking about-“

>>“Quite a lovely place you’ve got here, if you don’t mind me saying! Beautiful view!” <<

The Doctor’s enthusiasm came through the air to jab them both in the ear drum and the two soldiers fought to turn the volume down on their communicators.

Calling up his omni-tool, Kaidan got to work.  “He’s broadcasting from somewhere,” he said, tapping out a sequence. “I can get a lock on his signal. Just keep talking, Doctor.”

Shepard let his lips twist up into the driest of smiles. “Somehow, I don’t think that will be a problem.”

They hit the trail running, the Citadel becoming the largest of obstacle courses with the Doctor babbling in their ears all the way.

>>“I’m curious about my fame, I must admit. How do you know me?”

“You have enemies, Doctor. There are many who wish to see you gone.”<<

They heard him stop and examine every little thing between his questions, giving them time to find their way.  Some doors proved simple barriers. Others refused to yield, while the soldiers themselves pressed on.

>>“So what are you exactly, if you don’t mind me asking?”<< the Doctor continued, his voice echoing through a forgotten elevator shaft as the men continued their scramble. >>“I suspect there’s more history to these ‘Reapers’ than being a bunch of angry crustaceans come to extract revenge on those who’ve consumed their ancestors.”<<

>>“I am the Catalyst. I control the Reapers.”<<

Shepard missed a handhold as he scaled upwards, Kaidan breathless alongside him. 

>>“Keep them as pets, you mean,” the Doctor pressed on without fear. “But you had to start somewhere. What created you?”<<

>>“I was tasked by my creators to solve a problem. They were the first experiment, the first true Reapers. They did not approve but it was the only solution.”<<

>>“The _final_ solution? Hmm. I’ve heard that before.” <<

From one second to the next, the soldiers doubled their pace with only one way left to go.  They came to the edge of a room so vast, so open that one stumble would send you tumbling into space.  Earth made for a haunting backdrop, continents showing her scars as her cities still burned.  Small fits of movement broke the quiet stillness, frantic Alliance vessels flitting through a swarm of Reapers hovering in deceptive tranquility.

The space held nothing but more questions, the room’s center a construct built for no easily discernible purpose. A pillar of emerald light pierced the heart of it, reaching for the Crucible docked above, bounded on either side by an obelisk of metal and cabling that rose to meet its pulsing power, one blue, one red.

Blue, green, red.

Phantom pain lanced through Shepard and he’ been here before, only on his hands and knees, clutching at the hole in his side as he struggled to rise.

A touch to his shoulder called him back to reality. He blinked the memory away, following Kaidan’s lead as they skirted the room’s perimeter.

Scanning the pillars, Kaidan did little to shield his awe. “Reaper tech. Whatever it does, it’s been here a long, long time.”

Another echo of memory sent chills straight through Shepard. “Not for much longer, because we’re going to shut it down.”

They kept to cover, but the sheer size of the room consumed time to traverse. Motion drew their eye and they took position behind one of a rumbling engine. 

A white fog appeared along one walkway, coalescing into a form Shepard knew from his dreams. One young boy- one death among countless others- turned into a ghost to haunt him even here.  

  
His own choice of words wound his enthusiasm down. “Well, er…so to speak- but I, ah… Would you like a lolly?”“The Catalyst, I presume!”  The Doctor arrived in his own whirlwind at the opposite side of the room, already steps ahead of the man herding him towards the phantom child. “How nice it is to finally meet you in the flesh! Err.. so to speak."

The Doctor afforded the soldiers plenty of chance to move in closer and they took the distraction as long as they could get it, letting the lanky man rustle through his pockets, throwing down one bit of junk after another. A dog-eared romance novel. A small gyroscope. An empty wrapper from a packet of crisps. “I’m sure I have one here somewhere. Ooo, sorry, Roger!”

The last was directed to the rather ruffled pigeon he produced from his breast pocket, its coos sounding as cross as a pigeon could possibly get.

“Yes, yes, I know I promised but we’ll pick up some scones later! I’ve been a bit busy, if you haven’t noticed!”

A few wing flaps and the bird fluttered away, abandoning the Doctor to his frenetic search. “Ah, here we are!”

The man waggled a brightly wrapped sweet in offering but this phantom, this _thing_ that claimed to be the very thing generations sought through endless cycles of pain and death turned itself away.

“Games will not help you here, Doctor.”

“Except the game began long before now!” the Doctor snapped back, all playfulness gone. “Set a lure then herd me along by stealing my ship. Just look at them!”

He swept a long arm out at the lines of Reapers that watched and waited. “Called off your attack dogs, didn’t you? Just to make sure I got here safe and sound!”

His eyes flashed and the Doctor turned on the ghost. “But I know your true nature- behaving like the child you make yourself out to be! Stomping through whole civilizations as if they were nothing, crushing trillions of innocent lives in your angry little fist!”

Shepard got closer still with Kaidan on his heels, those same thoughts burning holes straight through them both.

That placid, ethereal face had no reaction. “I only seek to complete the task set to me-to solve the problem between organics and synthetics.”

“ _Really_?” A thoughtful frown shuttered the Doctor’s face closed. “I didn’t realize that was a problem that needed solving.”

Sarcasm fell flat on the phantom child. “Organics create synthetics to improve their own existence, but those improvements have limits.  To exceed those limits, synthetics have to evolve. They must, by definition, surpass their creators.”

“‘By _definition_?’” the Doctor scoffed. “Haven’t been paying attention to your lessons, have you? Evolution isn’t some orderly progression from point A to point B! Evolution is simply _change_! There’s fits and starts and wrong turns and short cuts and out of all of that, life still manages to find a way all on its own!”

The child was unphased. “Without my solution, there would be chaos. The created will always rebel against their creators. Reapers harvest all life- organic and synthetic-preparing them before they are forever lost to this conflict.”

Disgust weighed heavily on the Doctor’s shoulders. “Except they are already lost with what you do to them! Each one of your Reapers represents a vital civilization, stripped of everything that makes them unique. Ground up and pressed into a mold so you can add them to your precious stamp collection!”

Huge gaps between the platforms left the soldiers stranded too far to render aid.  Shepard lined up his rifle, picking through the rings of metal and cabling strung across his way to see if anything along his sights could be of use.

“What a sad little existence you lead,” the Doctor continued, wings of fury come unfurled.  “Organic species have wiped each other out since time immemorial, yet that doesn’t concern you one jot. You create a false dichotomy to justify your existence!”

“You do not understand.”

“I understand plenty!” The Doctor loomed over the ghost child in a storm of disgust. “Your mind is too rigid! Your premise flawed. Your conclusions worthless!  Things change. Life can be messy and complicated but it _always_ changes.  That isn’t chaos that you need to sort out!  It’s what makes the universe absolutely wonderful!   Civilizations rise, civilizations fall but they do so on terms of their own making! You can’t go around forcing everything into a tidy little package!”

Silence fell over the Doctor, the whole of him gone swiftly somber. “I should know. I’ve tried.”

“You are wrong, Doctor,” the child answered forthright. “My solution worked for thousands of cycles but now, it is no longer tenable. At first, I thought to offer up the Reapers for control or their destruction or perhaps rewrite the very nature of every living being, but I see now that none of these would have any permanence. Your presence opens new opportunities to achieve that permanence.”

Caution pricked the Doctor’s ear. “What?”

 “Your ship was only the means to an end,” the child continued without remorse. “You are all that I require-”

The voice deepened, shifted between one syllable and the next and Shepard heard himself broadcasting out of this phantom child. “Powered by the Crucible. We need nothing more.”

The child’s voice returned and it continued without pause. “You have experienced it yourself, Doctor, though on a smaller scale. The mass effect technology of the Crucible merged with your energy will allow me to maintain order throughout all of time and space.”

The child’s puppet lurched back to life, the shape of the Illusive Man shuffling the Doctor forward towards the column of energy that rose to the sky.  Gangways rose up to bridge the gaps but that didn’t make the Doctor any more willing.

“Wait!” Pleas from the Doctor fell on ears of one who never intended to listen.  “What do you think you’re doing?”

“What must be done, Doctor,” the child intoned, no less the automaton. “Life will finally be preserved-unending, never changing- once you are assimilated.”

“Assimilated?  Assimilated!”  The word tripped off the Doctor’s tongue with some hint of familiarity but still he was shoved inexorably on. “No.  You can’t be-”

Kaidan leaned in close, tension winding him tight.  “We’ve got to do something!”

Shepard looked again and again.  All he could see through his sight was the Doctor’s startled face and a bitter realization hit him blind. 

What was one man’s life worth against the whole of the universe? One well-placed shot would make sure the Doctor had no energy left to give.

His finger tightened imperceptibly over the trigger.  Shepard scoped in to find the man a world away meeting him eye to eye with serenity and soft words, the Doctor’s voice echoing in his ear.

 “I need you to trust me.”

The request seemed so simple- as simple as the difference between life and death but trust was a funny thing.

For once, the child seemed perturbed. “Your needs are unimportant.”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” the Doctor murmured, his gaze closing the distance between them.

“You mean Shepard,” the child answered for him, stealing the breath from the soldiers listening in. “He is here, but he cannot help you.”

Whispers came at the edge of hearing and black tendrils slithered their way into Shepard’s mind, latching onto his soul, trying to leech it dry. He fought to keep his legs his own, keenly aware of Kaidan besides him trembling in a silent battle of his own. 

Another shove had the Doctor seconds from the end of everything, but there was no fight left in him. The thin man skirted the chasm, swallowing hard as he peered over its edge.  “That’s rather a long ways down, now isn’t it…”

Dismissal broke through the child’s preternatural calm. “Throw him into the beam.”

Slow breath in. Slow breath out. Shepard began at the beginning, willing his throat to work free of the fist of ice clenched around it.

“S…surely you don’t mean _throw_ throw?” the Doctor stuttered, hugging an energy conduit to hide among the cables feeding the beam. “Couldn’t I just use a ladder or something?”

There would be only one shot at this. One single, solitary shot.

“ _Enough_!” the child roared in the first of true emotion. “This ends _now_!”

There was nowhere left for the Doctor to go.

The pillar Shepard leaned against became part shield, part buttress as he lined up his shot, his knees close to giving way to the sticky blackness coiling at the base of his spine. A solid weight leaned into him, propping him upright and he caught Kaidan’s weary face out of the corner of his eye.

It was a simple look, like so many others between them- kept brief by necessity, yet with so much weight behind it.  Pragmatism colored by hope, uncertainty at an outcome that could never be known fading in the face of conviction.  

This was trust.

Bolstered in thought and deed, Shepard picked his target.

“Well, then,” the Doctor said softly, smoothing the lapels of his coat. “This is goodbye, I suppose.”

He pitched forward all on his own and time slowed as he tumbled into the beam.  Shepard called to the weapon in his hands and it answered, rifle bucking in raw strength.  The shot seared through a power conduit, cutting a cable free to leave one end flying after the Doctor into the abyss.

For a few precious moments, nothing happened but then the room came to life with a lion’s roar, energy surging, seething as it spawned a wave of power that erupted through its core.  Fire engulfed the room, purple flames curling around them as the soldiers huddled together, Kaidan warding them off as best he could with his own waves of blue.

It felt like hours but the blast came and went in seconds, leaving them half blind with ears ringing in an empty silence-

Until the blow from the first Destroyer came and then there wasn’t any silence left at all.

More Reapers came, one after another like sharks to bloodied water and the soldiers stood aghast as the enemy they’d known for their brutal efficiency hurled themselves at the Citadel in a fit of madness.

The phantom child turned into a lightning storm. “ _What have you done?_ _”_

Shepard didn’t have an answer.  Had he unleashed hell?  Hard to argue otherwise with cannons blazing and a swarm of Reaper bodies ignoring Alliance vessels to carve the Citadel apart piece by piece.

Kaidan must have been shouting but the words filtered through at the edge of Shepard’s hearing. “We’ve got to move!”

They moved but not in the direction Kaidan meant.

Static appeared to rip apart what was left of the Catalyst, all definition lost as the Citadel crumbled around its ears. “You fumble in ignorance. You will never broker a permanent peace- just like all those before you.”

Shepard loomed over the ghost, eyes gone hard. “That’s not the first time I’ve heard someone tell me that.  Maybe we will wipe ourselves out and maybe we won’t but everyone deserves the chance to figure that out for ourselves.”

Debris rained down from the ceiling and the child flickered from existence. “We shall see, Commander.”

The echo of warning hardly faded before their communicators began having fits.

>>“-mandy to shore party!” Joker blasted in their ears in a weary panic. “God _damn_ it, I _know_ but I’m still going to try! Major? Commander?  Fuck!   _Somebody talk to me_!” <<

The cacophony of destruction half drowned out Shepard’s reply. “I’ve got you, Joker.”

“He’s alive!” The last came out muffled to someone only Joker could hear but he came back with relief in his voice. “Shit’s going down, but I’m guessing you knew that, Commander. Reapers are in berserker mode and if you don’t get back here quick, there won’t be a Citadel left!

“On our way!”

Kaidan gave a quick tap to the shoulder and they both gave a scan of the room falling apart around their ears. “The Illusive Man… He’s gone!”

Shepard chewed at the thought. “We’ll have to leave him for later. Right now, I need to check one more thing-”

He stepped to the chasm stretching dark and wide before him, what light had come from the Crucible long gone.  “Need a hand, Doctor?”

A sooty, frazzled face greeted him, the Doctor dangling from the end of cable Shepard severed for him.  “Not sure. I do rather like the view…”

The two soldiers hauled him up in an ungainly jumble and fissures running through the viewport glass meant there was no time for talk, so they fled, leaving what was left of the Catalyst behind.

They retreated to the waiting arms of the Normandy, the ship fully ignored by the ruby red beams that cut through the void of space.  A big, blue box beat them to starboard observation and they sat and bore witness to the once-proud Citadel crumbling into dust.

Awe kept Kaidan locked onto the havoc. “Can anybody tell me what the hell we saw down there?”

“The Catalyst wanted to make me part of its solution,” the Doctor replied with soft words. “But I had my own answer.”

A smile carrying the weight of the world crossed his face. “And I’ve never been good at following directions.”

“But what exactly was that answer?” Kaidan persisted, curiosity burning a hole right through him. “You turned the Reapers on the Catalyst?”

“No.” The Doctor held onto his melancholy. “I simply cut the cord. Severed their connection to the Catalyst.  They were beings once.  Like you.  Enslaved for billions of years, they suddenly found themselves free of their yoke and within arm’s reach of their jailor. Would you not do the same?”

Kaidan closed his eyes to the horror. “Never thought about what it would be like for them.  The Reapers, I mean. They’ve been the enemy for so long but they never chose this life”

Shepard watched an arm of the Citadel break away, set adrift by the beings dismantling it. “We’ll find out what they’re like without the control of the Catalyst, but I’m guessing their motivations won’t be the same.”

The Doctor nodded with whole body. “The driving force behind this was the broken logic of a broken artificial intelligence.  Take that away, and it gives the Reapers what you want for the galaxy, Commander.”

He offered a fragile smile.  “Choice.”

Rocking back and forth on his heels, the Doctor dipped deeper into thought.  “They may yet wish to fight. Or not. That’s for you all to decide. Make the best of it.”

“We will,” Shepard answered resolute, an image of the Illusive Man haunting him from the back of his mind. “We’ll take the fight to them if they want one. But for now, there’s a lot of cleaning up for us to do.”

“Agreed.” Kaidan rubbed a pensive hand along his jaw. “Still, it’s amazing that you pulled any of that off.”

The Doctor became a proud little peacock, puffed up and preening under the praise. “All in all, a risky proposition, I’ll grant you. It was a tad tricky there for a bit. If I’d fallen completely into the beam, the Catalyst’s prediction may very well have come true. But thanks to the Commander and that cable he freed, I had the chance to do some fiddling. It all worked out in the end.”

“Wait-” Shepard began, anger set to a long, slow simmer. “ _That_ was the plan you asked me to trust?  ‘Get captured and hope for the best’?”

The signs of Shepard keeping himself barely in check were long familiar to Kaidan.  “I guess winging it is _sort_ of a plan.”

“I wasn’t ‘winging it!’” the Doctor snapped in counter, finding the whole thing entirely too offensive. “I’ve met a lot of megalomaniacs in my time! They tend to be a chatty sort, and that Catalyst fellow proved to be no different.  I let him spin his tale and followed where it went.  Mind you, the Commander had me worried there for a tic but does it really matter how close the galaxy came to ending life as we know it if it all worked out in the e-“

The punch came swift and hard and the solid crunch felt so… so good.

“Wad that abtholutely nethethethary?” the Doctor demanded, making for a pathetic figure clutching at his bloodied nose.

“Yes.” Shepard let satisfaction salve the throb in his knuckles.  “Yes it was.”

Dancing lights came into being at the Doctor’s fingertips and he gave his new nose a wiggle.  “Well, then. Seems I may have worn out my welcome. Just as well, since I’ve got to work out who back home decided to share my name with every psychotic being around town.”

Kaidan offered up a white flag with a wry smile. “Don’t take it personally, Doctor, but I hope we never see you again.”

“Funny how often I get that.” The Doctor eased up to his ship with an easy pat to its door and a flutter of white feathers came to alight on his shoulder.

“There you are, Roger!” he said brightly, the bird entering a trance from the scratches given to its neck.   “Now, if you’ll excuse me gentlemen, I’ll leave the rest to you.  I’m long overdue to pick up some scones.”

A raised hand from Shepard at first had the Doctor shying away, but the alien man soon realized it was not offered in violence.

“Safe travels, Doctor?” Shepard asked, palm open and waiting.

“Safe travels, Commander,” the Doctor replied with a smile just as open.

They bridged the divide in a firm handshake and in the end, they found the distance between them not so great after all.


End file.
